Mommy’s Random Thoughts

(2:13 AM Wed.) I guess I know what cat to get if I ever had one XD. But, I'm playing a game and at the end of the event, you are assigned/recommended a cat that is best for you or just like you...it's actually crazy how accurate some Chinese gacha game accurately gave me a cat breed. Especially the last few sentences. It's crazy!

(5:29 PM Wed.) There's a boy just only a year younger than my baby brother who comes by to hang out with him. He's not a happy looking kid and obviously has a troubled home life, though our family doesn't exactly know how. We have a glimpse as to what is going on with him as he often comes over to our house to escape his own, but he never smiles and generally looks deeply depressed. He, as well as three other siblings, are being raised by their grandmother, who I don't know if she's abusive or just really neglectful towards this young man. This boy, we'll call him A, came over in the early morning cause his family locked him outside the house and asked our parents to take him to school (which they immediately said yes to, but not before asking him about his grandma and if she knows where he's at). A apparently has some learning issues or speech issues. He stutters and doesn't speak up for himself...which causes him to be pushed around A LOT by his siblings and their grandmother's friend who lives with them. He seems to have such a bad life, and it doesn't excuse his siblings bullying of him, but if he's this sad...I wonder how his older and younger siblings may feel as well, and if they are cruel as a means of coping with their troubled lives. A was driven by our parents to his school and our baby brother joined for the ride so he would feel more comfortable, as he seems really timid around adults. It turns out his bus was just running late, which is why he wandered away from his home today, but our mom and dad saw his school bus and were able to put him on it themselves. Our mom was the one who walked him to it and made sure he was okay and comfortable before leaving, but A told our mom before he departed: "I don't know why they lock me out. I don't know why they don't like me." We are afraid he might harm himself if left alone for too long, so our mom invited him over after school, on the condition he let his family know where he'll be. I cried for him when recounting today's events to my older sisters, it just hit me hard how sad A is and I don't know how or why his family would be this way towards him :(. I want to hug him so badly...and I almost asked if I could today, but I don't want to make him scared or uncomfortable–but my LORD, do I really want to hold him tight so he knows that someone cares. I'm starting to cry again, so this will be all that's said.

(5:53 PM Mon.) I want a pair of these so badly! They are just too adorable! And my favorite animal is a cat anyway, so it's a steal for me. If I had the money...I would buy one in every color scheme so I could pair it with different outfits.

(6:52 PM Fri.) Our neighbors daughter came over yesterday (we've known her since she was a baby) to hang out and cause chaos (as per usual). She used to be quiet and wasn't too great at speaking around others when she was really small...but being around my large, loud family has done wonders for her over the years lol. Anywho, she comes over being a little chaos gremlin (fond), bothering our eldest sister as she's eating (at least our sister has +4 experience points with us), jumping around and screaming (we joined in) and playing a dress up game with me despite having to do homework (I did play with her, she's only seven). At one point, Z (that's how I'll refer to our neighbors daughter) is playing with her tablet in front of my eldest sister's feet, and said sister, noticing how Z isn't doing her homework as promised starts up a conversation that goes like this: Sister: *narrows her eyes suspiciously down at the tablet Z is on cause it doesn't look like homework* "Hey! What are you doing?" Z: *innocently scrolling through clothes on her game, big eyes still trained on the tablet as she says in the most calm tone* "Minding my own business-" *finally looks up at my sister with a big smile*-"Why don't you mind yours?" Me, my eldest sister and mom all proceed to bust out laughing and so did Z. We complimented her on the sass and admitted that was a good one, *wipes a tear*, oh how far they come XD.

(11:51 PM Sat.) Didn't have paper to make a Mother's Day card this year, so me, my twin and baby brother painted Mother's Day rocks. I based mine off of a dinosaur as you can see, and I'm actually proud of how it came out ^-^. Our mom will hoard these forever and put them on display in our new home lol. Our eldest sister decorated cardboard with handmade crocheted flowers, now all I need to do is go clean the kitchen for tomorrow so that it's nice and clean how our mom likes. ❤️

(6:45 PM Thu.) I am overwhelmed with a feeling of rage and I want to throttle something to the point of near death. To explain (so I don't just sound like a psychopath): I had a very beloved (on all levels except physical) child of mine reveal to me that they are in a bad place right now. The issue isn't necessarily that they are in a bad place, everybody has those days/weeks/months/years, but my anger is the reason of their bad place. They are being mistreated by someone that should be taking good care of them...and to be honest, I never liked their partner in the first place, I just never said anything because 1: I didn't want to cause tension in their relationship due to baseless opinions, 2: they never asked what I thought about said partner, 3: I'm not their actual mother (even if they feel like I am) so I felt making any comments about their relationship would be unneeded and inappropriate of me to make/comment on and 4: I didn't have proof or an exact reason why I didn't like their partner (which leads back to me not wanting to dish out baseless opinions/thoughts/feelings of mine). Oh no. But now I find out the relationship is so rocky to the point of my child's life possibly being on the line and I am mad. I cannot even find the concern in myself (well I can, it's just mostly anger rn towards their partner) as I want to drive—heck, I'd walk to them if needed—down to where they live and beat the ever loving crap out of their partner. It also hurts my heart, because my kid deserves the best out of life, especially at having been hurt time, and time, and time again by people they thought loved them. I'm. So. Over. Their. Mistreatment! If I had the finances, I'd make my way over there with my overnight bag, the wrath of an infinite amount of burning suns resting within my chest and my fists, ready to pummel someone's face into dust. You don't get to use fear as a chain in someone's life just to keep them tied down to you, ESPECIALLY not anyone I know. I wouldn't let them escape from me until they know what fear actually looks like, then we'll see how they like the thought of it.

(4:41 PM Fri.) Am I the only one getting an upload error on the pictures I try to post in threads? I was trying to add a pic to Ruca-Senpai's The Electronic Slideshow thread and I wasn't able to :3. Edit: nvm. It was just certain pic's I couldn't upload.

(2:18 PM Sun.) Just ate a large spoonful of funfetti icing, it was delicious and I want to eat more! I would eat all the icing straight out of the container if I could, but I won't...though I absolutely could–but I won't! Maybe.

(4:30 PM Mon.) Just thought I'd tell everyone how much I love you all, cause I haven't said it recently. I hope everyone is able to strive and reach towards happiness...cause I know for a lot of you that right now happiness is kind of hard to obtain or imagine for yourself rn. BUT! Just remember that you are stronger than you could ever know and that at some point, you can see that silver lining in the clouds. ❤️