Random thoughts...

Kaneki that was the most incel pilled thing I've read all month, at that point I wouldn't exactly look at the women, morally questionable or not, and would reflect internally on my choice of partners? I don't know man but that shit you typed was a red flag and you're scaring the hoes.

Gotta vent, I get it. Maybe, if you can, therapy might not be a horrible idea. Been there and honestly, I should go back. Sometimes, all one needs is someone to word vomit to and i more than understand that.

Okay they are gone. And yeah I got recommended it by my doctor but cancelled when she came back another time. As doctor said "I recommend you sign up for therapy after going through all that you did in such a short time span. Your mind is probably worn down and you need antidepressants prescribed" Never told my family she would come back because I knew they would protect me by threatening her to stay away. Even now I don't tell my mom she came back. I don't want her hurt still but I just want to get out the pain somehow.

I ain't typing it all out again but know I got messed up mentally and need alot of time to heal. Tbh I shouldn't be on this site or internet at all probably until I do heal. Yaass is right I shouldnt have to explain to anyone.