Log in with your MaiOtaku account.
Home Forum Anime Members Help

Psychology of Suicide

yukiteru_amano
Why do we commit suicide? The common answer is usually : Life was too hard. We couldn't bare to remain alive. But is that always so? Is the sole reason that we murder ourselves only rest upon the fact that we either hate living or fail to see a reason to? So much of us fear death, or the afterlife. The thought of even doing something that might threaten the continuity of our existence has us put up our boundaries and avoid it. So why would we openly put a permanent finality upon ourselves? I feel that the real reasons for suicide are escape and acceptance. Allow me to explain. Outside of the realm of pure insanity and/or evil; I believe a person takes to ending their own life on the basis of the fight/flight instinct. If someone has had a terrible life, or believes permanent or irreversable damage has been done; they want to escape it. They might flee to another city or country; they might change identity or fake one. In the end, the just want to escape, and if no option works (flight), they simply end themselves. On another note, one may believe life isn't good enough, for either a similar reason as listed, or they believe they are better, or want better. They may realize that they can never be satisfied with life because it doesn't hold the answers or satisfaction they seek. Rather than live in misery, never finding happiness, or settle for less than what makes them happy; they decide to take matters into their own hands (fight.) In this way they end themselves to save from suffering, or (if religious) hope that a divine afterlife will await with answers and happiness. The topic can be argued infinitely, I suppose, but that's how I feel. As an ending topic, now that I have been unbiased and educational, I've have issues (and have issues) with suicide. Every day I weigh the option of suicide before I do anything. Is today a good day to die? Is today the right day to die? Is today the day I stop fighting? Is today the day I take flight? Is there a purpose to living? Is the possibility of happiness futile? Objectively speaking, I have had the most horrible life that I know of personally. (The internet has shown me worse lives, but they have nothing to do with my experience with life so I can't sympathize.) Also, events that take place in my life after said events have not improved. I don't have anyone close to me, there isn't anyone trying to get close to me; and all of my dreams and goals are situationally outside of my reach. However, when I think of the Flight option; I can't get past my fear of the afterlife. I want to escape, I want to die, but I don't want to end. I want to hope that there is a better place after this, where I can find what I'm missing here. But if there isn't ... it's hard to accept erasing my existence for nothing. On the other hand, when I think of the Fight option, I want to challenge my fate and my destiny and reach to the next stage. However, in this aspect, does suicide really mean that I am fighting for my afterlife future, or does it mean that I'm simply giving up because I'm weak, and looking for a cheap way out? I can never tell, so each day I make amends with my psyche and continue on. However ... Anime and Manga represent the only thing I hang on to. If there isn't any where I go after, I'm not sure I want to go there; regardless if it exists. There in-lies my final question. Do I kill myself, in favor of the afterlife, where things will be new and wonderful; and risk losing Anime/Manga/"The possibility of that Lifestyle" Or do I remain living, and while everything that is "My Life" hurts and makes me suffer, I can at least escape to those stories and characters and animations and sounds ect... It's a bit much to read, but this is the "Serious Topics." For those of you that read everything, and have a sympathetic or emphatic response; you have what heart-felt respect that remains from me. Even if I don't know who you are or anything like that, I have those feelings for you automatically, if even for a moment. Thanks. ~Stephen~
donnierye
Aug 04, 15 at 4:33pm
I tried to kill myself like... a little over a year ago? It was in June of last year. I tried with pill overdose. Anyways I woke up a couple days later in a hospital. After that, police escorted me to a behavioral health clinic where I spent a little over a week in. After that I had to take medication along with having to attend regular 1-on-1 psychiatric therapist sessions. I stopped taking the pills and stopped bothering with the therapist real quick after I got out of the mental ward. Honestly, I felt "cured" when I found out I failed suicide and woke up in that bed. The therapist and mental clinic basically just had me tell my life story so they could figure out what might have caused it. The general conclusions were a mixture of genetics and my long-time isolation. I pretty much spend most of my time alone and always have since I was a child. Now, obviously I don't know if I really am over it or not. Sometimes I still wake up sad and stay sad for a while. The periods can last for a day to a few months, but I don't think I'm suffering from depression as severely as I was last year. I no longer have thoughts of suicide or thoughts of "I should just die". I don't think I really have anything uplifting to say to anyone suffering from depression. Just wanted to share my 100% real experience (I kinda just say stupid shit all the time on MO, but this is true).
jojoni
Aug 04, 15 at 4:33pm
Even if this is posted on a "serious" topic thread, I believe that you need to seek the help of a professional on these subjects & not on a forum where children/adults with the intellect of children that didn't even finish college frequent because you will not get a productive result. Killing yourself is "Game "Over", you lost.
michaelw
Aug 04, 15 at 6:45pm
In my personal experience most people kill themselves because of mental disorders or drugs. But essentially it is desperation or assumed desperation. Before you further entertain taking any action I would ask a hard question of you. Sorry that I can only say it bluntly. Please please! Think about those around you. Time and time again I have seen what happens to friends and family, especially family. And it ruins them. Forever. This kind of suicide is the single most selfish thing that a human being can do as far as I'm concerned. Once you are dead, you're gone. And all the pain you felt gets pushed onto everyone else. The mental injuries of a suicide's loved ones never heal. I don't mean to say any of this to judge. And I wont pretend to know your pain. But before anything think about the happiness of the people I your life. It doesn't always feel this way but that happiness depends on you so much more than you might know. .....also if the urge just never goes away then tell your doctor. Sometimes that is a chemical imbalance.
yukiteru_amano
:) not a single troll response in the opening of this thread that actually makes me really happy, in an Otaku kind of way i'm sure this thread won't make any big waves, but it's nice to see people post :3
michaelw
Aug 04, 15 at 7:04pm
Not something to joke about....
animeboy
Sadly the site's meaner members and trolls will barge right in here sooner or later, that's why I don't talk about my problems here. To put a disclaimer for the OP my life hasn't really gotten better either, and if I died I think I'd be really happy seeing that no matter what I do or how hard I try, things just won't work out. Still I'm plugging away, trying to make things work out somehow, and my love for video games is what's keeping me sane to say the least. So you know, you're not the only one.
yukiteru_amano
@michael it's not a joke i've been dealing with these issues since i was 11 i am now 25 years old, i've had a VERY long time to suffer/commit you could say i'm at a general acceptance of fate each day i continue to live, i consider it a part of my resilience to giving up and if the day ever comes that i don't, i'll just consider it the moment i move on either way, the end of each day means the same to me tomorrow, will infinitely be where both my questions and answers lie
maliceraven
It sometimes takes time to realize the precious things you have, the abilities you have. You have the ability to be there for yourself and others. The ability to make others and yourself happy. You have more strength than you probably are aware of as a person, as a mortal, as someone with emotions. The only guarantee in life you have is to end. We all die. Concluding your life sooner does not prove or improve anything. It can be hard to see a point in existing especially in a dark spot and when you feel absolutely lonely. Words people say seem so empty, actions are empty, nothing seems to have long term value. It's all a repeating cycle of disappointment. No, life is really what you make of it. That's your only purpose...to create. Why would you want to create sadness by leaving before you've given it all you have? If you were meant to die now... you'd be dead, so just live the best way you know how and grow past the pain.
michaelw
Aug 04, 15 at 7:49pm
Yes, I know it isn't a joke.
Continue
Please login to post.