Dating and confidence?

This is mainly directed at women, but guys are welcome to comment too of couse. Would you date a person with low self-esteem or self-confidence? I have read that confidence is really sexy but arrogance is jerky and unappealing. Those two things are of course separated by a thin line like most personality traits. Opinions?

We all know what the ladies really like... being the supreme dark overlord of the underworld is sexy AF. Hehe right? Eh I think so at least right? Uh huh maybeh just maybeh...

Because I am looking for a partner in a relationship, not to be someone's mommy, the answer would probably be no. I don't want to handhold anyone through a relationship, I need to know that you won't lose your shit at the first hint of trouble. And ultimately I can't help anyone who can't help themselves. If the guy doesn't think he's worth anything, why would anyone else think any differently? Basically, they have enough challenges ahead for themselves and a relationship won't magically change any of that for them. If anything, I can only see how it'd make it worse.

What about the far opposite, a man who thinks he is all that and a bag of chips? Would it be equally troublesome? And is there a double standard here between genders?

Dateing someone who is a child and expect you to do all the work and expect everything is going to be ok for all time is waste of time period. yes some people are broken but if they are willing to work to make it better its something. but i hate when someone expects the other to hold the relationship together its childish. relationship is work love compassion sadness dispar anger. only people who deserve each other are the ones who fight for each other. confidence is this you don't woe is me and think your worthless or get a big head you humble yourself not say or base thing on standards love and care for someone just because of them. None of us want a child as a significant other we want faithfulness caring kind strong and humbled there is man more but these i think are key. yes up and down may come but work threw them you can only have love if you cultivate it. yes we all have our weakness and downfalls but we have to be strong and get up if not you will have none an none will have you. yes you and your partner should better each other be your other halve but not be all of you if you get what I'm typing. no 75 25 or 5 95 its 50 50

Well, I actually don't think confidence and arrogance are really on the same scale. I mean outwardly, maybe they can resemble one another but an important distinction would be where the both stem from. To me, an arrogant person isn't someone who is too confident. They're actually someone who is incredibly insecure. While a confident person can understand their own failings because they know themselves, an arrogant person has a skewed understanding of themselves of having no faults and thus their self-confidence is having to impress friends, family, acquaintances, etc. And besides, like it is in all things in life, too much or too little of anything is bad. Dating an arrogant person would be equally troublesome but not in the exact same way as dating a person with low self confidence. Obviously, I'm not a guy so I can't really say from a first hand perspective on how a guy would think, but I don't believe most guys would find a female who has low self esteem to be very attractive. I can't even really stand it in my friends, much less in someone who I'm considering being a romantic partner to. So no, I don't think there's a double standard

@Xueli Awesome! I wanted to answer that but didn't know how to word it. I wouldn't mind a low self esteem girl but there are limits. They kind of trigger me into wanting to make them happy. But there are those limits.

Relationships are a mutual task for both people involved to work together in, for some people a small lack of confidence from time to time can be fairly normal especially under the more depressing circumstances but as long as they are working to get themselves back on their feet and helping in the relationship then that's good. But nobody should feel like they have to care for their girlfriend or boyfriend as if they were a parent to them, like what xeuli says - nobody wants to be a mommy or daddy for their romantic partner because in the end what's in it for them? If the other person isn't working towards the relationship and is relying on their partner to do everything for them then it's just selfishness and lazyness at that point and should result in an immediate break up because it's just not fair on the person who's doing everything. However from my experience, someone who's excessively arrogant about things all the time are often conceited and feel like because of their state of mind where they think they are all that (When really they look like giant cockheads) they feel like they are owed something from the person they're interested in and that's a sad attitude to have towards someone you like, especially when they get upset and pissy when they are turned down and rejected and believing the problem is the other person while they refuse to take an introspective look at themselves to realise that they're the issue, not the other person. Now a tiny bit of arrogance every now and then in my opinion is alright and is healthy for people's ego and confidence but they need to learn to tone it back before someone is upset. So yeah, that's my take on it :I