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Ever feel fed up with people IRL?

kohagura
I've been feeling so fed up with everyone irl... but at the same time, my feelings about people on the internet hasn't changed, that they're there for me a lot more than anyone irl is and are pretty much my best friends. I can hangout and talk to internet/game friends for hours everyday. I have 3 people I know irl who I can consider friends, but I feel like everyone's just making excuses not to see me IRL... I can't stand how they'll say something like, "Hey, I'm coming over to your house next week!", or "Let's go to this store next week!" and then they keep canceling and saying "I'll come next week!", and then eventually just forget about it altogether. They know how shy I am, that I can't really make new friends, and yet they keep doing this to me and just leaving me alone everyday. It makes me feel even worse when they brag about hanging out with other people, when I was never invited or never knew about it. I also tried making friends with a store cashier a little over a month ago and we shared a lot in common and liked anime, so when I asked, he gave me his email, but hasn't responded to my message even once. So I feel like he was either just being polite or pranking me. Either way, I hate how people can't just be honest or keep promises. I felt like therapists have been my best friends all throughout middle school to college(I don't see one anymore), because I would see them a LOT more often than I see my current friends(once a week appointments). I think I have seen any of my RL friends a total of 3 times this year. I've been told they'll meet me a total of 5 or more times, after those 3 visits. I don't have much experience with RL friendships because I only remember having two close friends in elementary school(not at the same time), both of whom I would hangout with everyday even outside of school, and now I feel like I can never have RL friends like that anymore. Everyone's too busy or lazy, or has better friends. And it just feels pointless to even try making friends locally unless you go to a school or job with them. I've talked to my current friends about it saying how I hate being given false hope and having it canceled last minute, but it seems like nobody wants to just come out with it and say they don't want to really come, or at least not make promises to begin with. Maybe we're just drifting apart, or maybe we're not best friends like before... Maybe I'm too used to being with one friend daily, since we used to work together. I think he's gotten popular, and maybe that's why? He mostly just plays games/watch TV all day though... Either way, I'm just so sick of it that I want to cut off all RL contact and only make internet friends. >_< I don't know why, but I can only make true friends online and those friends tend to live in different states that I either never see them, or only see them at conventions... so it doesn't bother me at all that we don't meet up irl since they have that very understandable restriction. Does anyone else ever feel this way?
yunoxyukki
yes i hate when people make promises to someone and dont stick to them. like if your gonna say something like i will come and see you and never show up why promise to do so in the first place. your not alone kohagura frankly if i was your irl friend i would have loved to hang out haha i dont really have anything to do anyway. i try to stick to my promises cause so many people promise this or that to me and never commit thats why whenever i make a promise no matter how much i dont want to follow through i still do it because a promise is a promise. i dont really have too many irl friends for the same reason im pretty shy and often i would see them hanging with other people and im just here like great glad your having fun without me
kohagura
Yeah, I am super cautious about saying if I can do something for someone, which is why I absolutely refuse to do art commissions. >.< Wish others could be too. I hate that feeling too, when you're physically there, and they ignore your existence. :( That happened a lot starting in middle school, which is probably why I became so shy. Actually, that is why I don't go over to them... because the closest RL friend hangs out at the college lounge every waking hour of every day(literally only goes home to sleep or if school is closed). Anytime I go, I end up being silent because there's too many people in the room he hangs out in, and I cannot find any opportunity to speak up without interrupting someone or getting ignored due to my soft voice. He knows I can't handle so many people and about my social/mental illness stuff, that I can only talk if I'm alone with a person. >.<
vampire_neko
When I had my first apartment when I was younger, I had lots of friends because they all wanted to come over and hang out and party and such. As soon as I moved out of my apartment, suddenly nobody wanted to hang out with me anymore. People are hypocrites. Lately I seem to be befriending lots of online hikikomori types who only have a few irl friends and don't go out much. I don't like most "normal" people anymore. Trying to get to know one person this fall when I move closer.
yunoxyukki
omg ikr? like when your there but no one listens to you when you say something so you just sit there awkwardly and dont say anything that totally me lol. i was doing a project for my film class and we had to film a commercial and everyone stood there talking and i was like hey guys we have to go the bell will ring any minute now and they ignored me like i was a ghost or something so i left on my own and when they got to the classroom they were like how did you get in here....i thought you were still outside T-T i dont do groups very well for that same reason cause i would always be the silent one and when i do talk or make a joke everyone just looks at me
kohagura
>.< Yeah I noticed most of my closest internet friends are sort of hikikomori types(even though my best friend has a full-time job XD). Not so much that they hate people, but they just enjoy being on the internet most. It has everything we could want except for food. The most extreme friend I know does it for a good reason though, since she lives in a dangerous and violent neighborhood where going outside is risky.
vampire_neko
Most of my online friends just suffer from various forms of depression, ptsd, social anxiety and often gender dysmorphia that they were often teased about growing up. Sometimes I wish I could buy a big mansion with lots of rooms and invite all my hikikomori friends to live with me.
jethex
I honestly felt the same way many years. Now I'm in university were pretty much everyone got similar interessts (game studies), and suddenly I have a lot of people to meet in rl and I can actually considers as friends. I think it really depends on what people you spend time in RL.
sneaky_rai
This account has been suspended.
kohagura
Aw I can totally relate. >.< I hate how people lead you on when they won't respond. I'd rather have an up front "No thanks", than to grow more attached and eventually get hurt. I do notice most of my friends do have some form of mental illness or gender dysmorphia as well. Lots of traumatizing pasts. @_@ But I can understand since I'm similar too. That may be another reason I get along so well. I never have met any other FTMs or girls IRL who had issues with their gender.
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