I Plan On Walking Away, From It All.

I don't know. I once believe family was everything, and that, we all should stick together. Through the toughest, through the worst, of all times. Even the good we share. But, seeing how... Nobody was there for me when I was going downhill. And I was there for all of them. No one seemed to care. And for those who did; treated me with such disrespect I'm begining to loath them for it. I try to hang around them, regardless what as happened between us. But, I'm starting to lose grips. What do I make of this? I think about it, whose closes to me, who always talks to me, who hangs with me, who does... I come to realize. No one does. Am I that nobody? Am I that loser? I must be. So, I decided once I'm done catching up on my high school, and finish it. I'm just going to walk away from it all. Nobody seems to want me around, no one. I gave them there chances. I waited, and waited. And I'm still here. Waiting. I've finally had enough waiting and decided upon that; I'll walk away from it all. Things are difficult. So am I. But still. I was there for them when they needed someone to talk too, I listened, answered with my thoughts. And-- Well. It turned out I was nothing to them the entire time. There. I'll walk. I'll walk. Good-bye...

I was in your situation before and thought what matters more, me being happy or them being happy. I'm not really happy but I'm just going through and try to find what's best for me. As selfish it sounds, I get discarded by "friends" often so... Hope you find what's best for you later on.

I understand what you mean by 'discarded by "friends" often." If you don't mind me telling you a past event, I'm glad to share. If not, don't proceed any futher, simply ignore this message. ^.^ WARNING! When I was young, I think, grade 2? I had a bunch of friends. Once could say I was apart of the popular group. Then, things began to change. Why? Because unlike everyone else I knew. I couldn't read. How come? A disability? Or just simply lacking in learning ability? I don't know. Anyway. I lacked the ability to read. And once people figured this out. I was slowly begining to lose friends, one by one. Quickly, and aggrsively. In grade three, I was transfer from one school to another. I had a cousin who was coming to the same school, and I thought; "This is going to be awesome!" Rather I might've said 'great' instead of 'awesome'. xD When he came, I didn't know he'd just be a bastard and turn my remaaining friends against me. And which, he did. I had nobody left, no one to talk to, no one to hang with. Everyone hated me. Everyone laughed at me, mocked.. Me. What happen during those years? I went through this the entire year. Friendless. Only person, only think I liked. Was going to my Grandma's place after school. She always welcomed me and I'd always helped her (From the stories she would once tell me ^.^ I remember them when she told me them). I never told anyone about this. Because I didn't want too. I thought, I'd never hear the end of it if I did. It was like this till Grade 5. It wasn't till then I began making friends again. Just know. Over time. You'll come across that 'friend' or group of 'friends'. I believe in the 'online world' of people having bonds with one another; it being role playing, video games, working on videos together, anything. I believe in online friends, and family. Just be patient and let time to its course. Of course, you'll need to do your roll as well. I hope things work out for the better for you. And don't ever get down. I may let things get to me. But I don't, and try not to let them, consume me. Just, if it ever does, think about it; imagine something better, play some music, anything (these are things what I do) ^.^ Take care.

Yeah, a few of friends I have are online friends. I have only one friend here but he was at a different school during my school years. We are becoming more and more distant but I'm not letting it get me down. Your past was somewhat what I've gone through but it was in middle school.