Wanting a relationship but social anxiety gets in the way of starting one

Hmmm I also suffer from some social anxiety when meeting new people or being around a lot of people I don't know.. And I will tell you that putting yourself in situations that force you to be around a lot of people really helps if you don't yet feel comfortable talking to people you don't know. In that mindset I find that doing things alone really helps me feel comfortable... like going out to eat alone or going to a movie alone or going to a coffee shop to read some manga.. I know it sounds weird but being out around lots of people I don't know, and doing things that interest me, helps build confidence in being myself.. Then when you're ok with that you can put yourself into social situations that force you to talk to people like joining a club or going to social events.. Practice makes perfect and you WILL make a fool of yourself sometimes so you might as well not be afraid to do so, do it purposefully even.. if someone comments about it, tell them it's a social experiment and you just want to see how people react. I don't know if my advice is useful to others but I swear this works well for me. As for proximity, the world is a BIG ASS place. Don't limit yourself.

Yeah, I do think seeing others interact can be a good inspiration. I know that because my only close real life friend is really talkative/goofy, and seeing him really makes me wanna be like him too, as long as I'm in a good mood. XD And yes, the world is huge... but you also cannot expect to find "cute girls" elsewhere, because really, what you see on TV or media isn't what real people look like on average. People are naturally ugly, and it takes time/effort/makeup or extreme luck to look cute. I don't recommend just aiming for cute girls, because most of the girls I know who have the best personalities aren't what you'd consider "cute" or "sexy", but their personality and charm certainly makes them adorable and loveable more than looks can possibly be. If anything, guys have it easier since there are way more pretty girls in the world than pretty guys. Once you've found the right person, their looks won't matter at all. I used to think I'd only get with super pretty handsome guys, but I ended up dating a variety from hideous to decent-looking, and the deciding factor if the relationship was good, was purely based on their personality, ideals, and how they treated me. XD

@kohagura I agree with all of that except guys having it easier.. OMG it's so hard to tell sometimes what someone looks like under all that makeup. Not to mention people who care THAT much about appearance are often somewhat one-sided. I think beauty really is in the eye of the beholder and it's possible find someone you find attractive and who has a good personality.

@ kohagura ehem not to be an ass BUT!!! let me quote you on something ;) "but you also cannot expect to find "cute girls" elsewhere, because really, what you see on TV or media isn't what real people look like on average. People are naturally ugly, and it takes time/effort/makeup or extreme luck to look cute. " now put instead of "cute girls" ... put "cute/handsome/super pretty guys" ... yup ... also its not that there arent many men like that ... most of us are not metrosexuals and are unwilling to go as far as women go for aesthetics. I know I wouldnt wear make up unless I was acting or cosplaying ... as for looking pretty -_- id rather get shot at by cheney in the face. but thats just me :)

Ah, I don't really know many guys who do put effort into stuff like hairstyling or makeup, except in South Korea where it is as normal as it is for women... XD So yeah, there really are very very rarely men who do look good from that, but I don't know, maybe I am biased and think that girls do look prettier naturally... I think because the facial structure is smoother or less chunky. @_@ Don't really know a better way to describe it. ...Honestly if it weren't for my extreme love for the male anatomy, I'd consider myself lesbian. XD And don't worry, I don't think you sounded like an ass at all. You said it maturely. XD

Step 1: do squats and get a big booty Step 2: learn how to work them hips Step 3: put on some garters and hit it in the club! *woop woop*

@Kohagura & boundbyluck: My Korean guy friends maintain their looks better than I do with their expensive skin products and whatnot orz;;; (am actually jealous of them) I suffer from mild social anxiety, and I feel the only reason why I have friends at all is because they come to me first. One of my friends has a way worse social anxiety than me, and he's always wanted a gf. A lot of girls came up to him when he started cosplaying, and it was a good common topic. Now he has a gf and he's been with her for several months now c: There's a lot of people who have social anxiety, but they pre-occupy themselves with music, cosplay, or art. Eventually people will come up to you and say that your works are cool, and they'll want to talk to you.

Thats how i am I let people come to me unfortunately im quiet and keep to myself so people tend to just ignore my existence like tomoko in watamote

@ cielle I did write "most guys dont do this" ... because lets face it, in the culture of the past that still somewhat lingers in the present. Men were NOT into this sort of thing, it was considered "gay" for lack of a better word that would not go into being offensive. So we reject based on passed lessons that tend to become either hard to get rid off or impossible to get rid off. Now in the present if a man takes longer in the bathroom than a woman so he looks pretty ... (i still find this insanely annoying), he is considered metrosexual and its all a-okay. and women love pretty guys >_> even when they are so shallow that they carry manbags with cosmetics in them or ... w.e products they need. sigh If the future of men is ^ this ... ill gladly die a bloody cromagnon. as for social anxiety ... its only when i have to do public speaking in front of a very large group of people (but i can hide those shaking knees like a boss). or when I am in social events with too large a crowd ... i feel out of place. I can still find myself trying to have a good time, but too large a crowd and I go into comfort zone of people I know or go into my own little world away from the loud crowds.