Depression

Also, if the professional help you're getting is not helping, maybe it's not the Dr. Maybe it's you. People can wish to be unhappy just as easily as they can wish to be happy. Some people cannot accept happiness and some people flat out reject it.

Ya know something? This thread is becoming redundant rather than being consoling to the op. He lost a friend and that is extremely depressing in of it's self. If you just need and ear or an eye, I am here. But really, just hang with friends and family. Also, your friend may have lost a battle, but their legacy can still live on.

do note, I'm not attacking you, it's just my observation and opinion. I'm not trying to push you to suicide or nothing.

True words op. Depression is crippling, and I know when you feel it, its hard to seek help because you simply don't want it, kinda like you sort of want to feel that way. But to anyone who gets this way, you got to reach out, and if no one is there you got to fight it. I know it's kind of corny but the reason I love the anime I watch is because no matter what the protagonist is going through, they fight through it and eventually come out on top. Same goes for us, no matter how many times you get rejected, how you feel about yourself, or how many times you fall down, FIGHT. Get up, put up your guard, smile, and get ready for the next blow

As someone who suffers from this a lot, its really hard to talk to people, itmakes you very nervous, and cconstantly bugs you. A lot of time you want to talk about it, but it has to be certain people, and if the person is there, but someone else isthere , it wont happen. Sometimes we try to hold it in, and that usually leads to some sort of self harm. Sometimes it can get really drastic, and we get into the suicide type of thinking, and for me, I have to do something, I have to run away for a while. So like I understand when people kill themselves, I've been there, I've tried, but something always happens and I'm still here lol. It stinks tho, we want to cry out, but its hard. We have a lot of trouble talking to others about this kind of subject. Only reason I'm able to post this is Cuz I'm drunk xD

It is supremely difficult to admit weakness and failure openly as it opens the doors to more criticism. I know the times that I have sunk real low and lost myself I thought that nothing anyone could say would quickly remedy what I was feeling and thinking. The pain and the guilt can be so intense you find yourself drowning in continuous thoughts until you feel utterly defeated and exhausted. Not all of us have the inner tools to overcome such turmoil and not all of us are as sensitive to comprehend someone who feels everything. I am sorry for anyone here who is at a loss from depression, but humans feel. The end. Once we understand and accept that we all absorb the world differently then we can respect extreme aspects of it instead of condemning yourself by saying you have a disease. I would never seek a doctor's opinion for any deep sorrow. If I can't get support from family and friends... people who know me then I feel no one will really care or understand.... only suppress what I am already suppressing painfully. So I can understand feeling like you have no one to turn to... no one to trust. It's not so black and white. As far as suffer from it. Yes I would say it is suffering as it never truly goes away and is extremely painful in all ways. I am too here... Completely available to ANYONE who needs someone to talk to that will honestly listen.

Thanks guys. I'm not suffering from depression, but losing my friend has shown me not to overlook people's issues. @ Kichigai no worries. @ yasshat and raven thanks for being open and consoling.

Well I am glad! Again...sorry for your loss. Thank you for shedding light on this topic. I agree it is taken too lightly most of the time.