Experience In the Friendzone

Hey there, my name is Ryan and I just discovered this fantastic site. Now I have a question to ask the masses, but first some background story: There is this awesome lady at work who I have become very close to very quickly, but she has -gasp- friendzoned me. Now now before you say anything I'm not here to say BOO HOO I'M SUCH A NICE GUY SHE SHOULD DATE ME CUZ I'M NICE. This isn't that kind of thread, and I know i'm not entitled to her affection. I intend to just keep being her friend and talk to her, I'm just glad that I can make her smile and feel safe. Heck I'm even on here looking for my own cute otaku girl if possible. But she does talk to me almost constantly and is the only guy she comes to at work. She messages me all night and all day every day. She makes herself the first person I talk to when I wake up and the last person I talk to when I go to sleep. But she insists that we are just friends so I respect her decision and plan on being a good friend to her. Now here is my question to the masses: How often does it actually happen that the girl will take a man out of the friendzone farther in the future (or a man take a woman out)? What are people's experiences with this sort of thing? I guess the only thing I'm concerned of is how unusually close we became so quickly and whether she's gonna try and pull me out of the zone if I find myself a girlfriend. Which would destroy a rather awesome friendship, because I don't play that game and I certainly don't cheat. If you have any stories or advice you wanna share feel free. Have a nice discussion :P

YOU POOR THING!!!! Nah, I'm just kidding. I like your attitude. I absolutely hate pity parties and guilt trips so it's nice to see this thread isn't whining or complaining. Hum... I guess I have mixed feelings about this... There's a friend of mine in real life who I really love talking to. We're quite a bit alike and sometimes I get the feeling he may like me... But I'm not sure. There were times when I was wondering if I should try asking him out or something, but then I start thinking the worst will happen. I've had a lot of friends who have gone through terrible break ups and it worries me. I value my friends very highly and the idea of losing any of them makes me very sad. It's not like he's asked me out or vice versa... But I've thought about it and this is what makes me hesitate. I'm thinking that some people just value others so highly that they don't want to attempt anything that will jeopardize their friendship (That or they really aren't interested... I don't know. Everyone is different). I don't know this girl you're referring to, but it's possible she kind of feels the way I do. Maybe over time things will change, but I really don't know. I think it varies from person to person. (Also I apologize if this doesn't make any sense... It's getting to be about the time of night where I don't type as well and everything just sounds like a bunch of blah~)

Haha thanks for the Sympathy sweetnightmare. I really understand what you're saying. And I've had experiences where my female friends have taken flying leaps out of the friendzone and landed on my head @_@. The problem is they always do it right after I get serious with another girl (its happened 3 times to me so far). It only really destroyed my relationship with one of them because she basically started actively trying to "Steal me Away" from the girl I was with. The other two I had a calm conversation with and we're still friends. Based on my personal experience its quite possible to date a friend and stay friends if it doesn't work out, but it depends immensely on the people's personality types.

Oh yes, of course. All the pity~<3 I guess that's true. It really depends on a person's personality. Some may be more calm about it while others will flip out. I'm worried for the latter.

I used to worry about it to but the allure of romance with someone who is your friend and gets you and loves you for you is far to great! My longest relationships in the past initially started as friendship, its actually quite an amazing foundation for a relationship.

I think having a relationship with a friend would be nice, it just scares me. I was in a relationship a few years ago and our relationship ended rather well, but I worry about finding other people who would be as relaxed as him.

Well a good way to tell his to watch how they treat their other partners/ romantic interests. I had one friend who I was very close to, we were amazing together and most people thought we would be perfect. But I got a first hand look at how she was with her boyfriends and how frantic and unstable she was in a relationship so I knew I had to turn her down. Its not always easy but you have to do whats right for you in the end.

It also of course depends on how much you value romance and intimacy. If you don't care about such things then staying friends is probably best, but if your like me and one of your dreams is to find your true love, then it may be worth it to take the risk. You can't go through life taking no risks at all after all.