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How tru is tru love?

chicgeek23
For this I'm going to use a situation from my real life that way anyone reading this can answer the questions I'll have at the end. Here it goes. So I have had this friend who was also a former crush for awhile, we met back in 2011 and talked periodically since then, we had a falling out about a year ago due to some miscommuncation and started talking as only friends, since things didn't seem so complicated. Of course, feelings resurfaced but there were too many things we faced that just made having a relationship with each other difficult. Don't get me wrong, that didn't mean we weren't close. We had alot of the same likes and dislikes, but also good of things we didn't share interests with. Definitely the most fun person I've known to talk with, but he came across someone else and started talking with her frequently. Even though with hardly little in common, they talked until she liked him and told him, and it turns out he liked her. They have actually been together a while but the real question isn't about them but relationships like that in general. How can certain people have an expection for one person? I don't like sports, never will, and would never pretend to like it just so I could be with someone. How long does pretending and faking being interested in things you don't like keep a functioning relationship? Why should you have to compromise a single thing about yourself to please someone to get them to like you. There is even a whole episode about it on My Little Pony S4E13 If you change things about yourself to impress someone, then your not being yourself and then everything you've built on is a lie. You can't be straightedge for years and then be fine with getting someone who smokes pot all the time. I know views and opinions change with people, but its not something that you lay aside for just cause the person your with does it. I mean just cause I'm with a guy doesn't make me straight, I'm still bi, same if I am with a girl, I'm still bi. Doesn't make me a lesbian. I don't think anyone should compromise or change to be with anyone and I wouldn't start liking or pretend to be okay with something when I'm not. What do you guys think about this, does it work for some or is it a bunch of hooplah? Has something like this happened to anyone?
altair88
Nov 04, 14 at 6:49pm
Well, seems to me that this question has a lot to do with have a preconceived notion about another person. I curious as to the whole pretending and or faking it as you said. How does one actually know that this person is faking it just to like someone. I could be that because of the person they like they were able to get into something new, be it sport, music preference or whatever. The simple fact of the matter is it can be hard to determine if they are fake or not. However to answer the question some people choose to compromise for the sake or strengthen the relationship or bond. Prime example of this deals with married couple and children. One partner may want one and the other might not be ready. However, eventually they compromise or even hop on board because they were convinced or came to the conclusion that because I love this person I want to see them happy and in turn I am happy. Something to that extent, it usually just depends on how much the people involved feel about each other. I personally don't see it as being fake, but more so as maturing in the relationship. (that probably didn't make a lot of sense but I tried to answer the question xD)
chicgeek23
Well's let just say that all the things that prevented us from being together are now things he is fine with. I mean I get what your saying, but I think there is a difference in accepting it or just outright playing like you love it. If I wanted to go to a concert, I wouldn't wanna take someone along who wouldn't enjoy it, but I wouldn't know that. Still it would end up being a drag if they weren't really having fun. I'd rather bring a friend who would enjoy it. I mean if have a group of friends who liked anime, but then started hanging out with someone who didn't, would you blow off your friends to just pretend to like football instead with that person?
jikokun
Wall o' texts. Didn't read, sorry.
altair88
Nov 04, 14 at 10:09pm
Isn't a wall of text on all forums?
metaljester
Nov 04, 14 at 10:11pm
Well besides a few, like the first one to post wins... But I will come back to this topic in due time,
rainx
Nov 04, 14 at 10:27pm
So I guess I'm having a bit of a hard time understanding the point of your post. Are you not happy with this male friend of yours because you feel he changed himself and his interests to be with a girl you feel he didn't have very much in common with before? I can't say I've specifically run into a similar situation. I go into every potential new relationship with a girl with them knowing full well I'm a gamer. If they can't get behind that or at least accept it, then I don't want them as a significant other. I can probably say for sure a lot of girls have probably been turned off by the fact I am a gamer, but I won't compromise my interests or ideals for the sake of a relationship. I'd rather stay single.
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