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I need more female friends.

xueli
Jun 07, 14 at 10:17pm
The thing about friendzone is that if you're coming at me like you want to be my friend, then I'm gonna see you as a friend. I think the vast majority of cases is like that. If you don't want to be friendzoned, then don't act like you just wanna be my friend ya know?
xueli
Jun 07, 14 at 10:19pm
That being said, you can talk to females you wanna be friends with the same way you talk to males you wanna be friends with. I don't really think you need to impress us anymore than you would need to impress other guys to be friends with them
animekid
Maverick-Sorta, kinda, not really haha. Well at work there aren't any female co-workers. Not really interested in going to bars *not much of a drinker although I realize that wouldn't really be the purpose of going* and at cons I usually end up being geek first before being a guy trying to connect. But I still would have the problem of forgetting about them being a girl haha. I need to start of in a in-depth conversation with them about something I'm passionate about so I just talk and don't think haha. Xueli it's nice to see you here and in the forums some more. I haven't noticed you very often lately but your always offering good advise and you seem to mean well with what you say even in threads that are heavily trolled. I understand there should be no difference in talking to girls than talking to guys where building a friendship is concerned. Yeah it is rather backwards thinking that I have to "impress" them anymore than I have to impress anybody at all. For some reason I still have trouble though, I think its all just nerves and I'm focusing on all the wrong things. I'm sure over time I'll get better about it and I'm sure I've already gotten better than I was.
riyuzaki
This account has been suspended.
animekid
True not necessary but I would like to try so I can talk with them easier and maybe find myself girlfriend lol. I also agree that continuing it only have male friends/associating with only males does hurt your social skills if you weren't that great with them in the first place. Haha I guess that's also a good reason for me to improve mine since I also mostly just had male friends/associated with only guys. I'm glad to hear that you feel that you've improved a bit yourself.
noodle_mutou
I'm happy to be friends with anyone ^_^ I don't think gender should play a part in friendships, a friend is a friend :)
animekid
Thank you noodle_mutou ^_^ While I agree with you that gender shouldn't matter in friendships I have some trouble talking to girls in general and I have very few female friends so I believe the more female friends I have *real friendships of course not just friends for the sake of saying "having friends"* the more comfortable I will become overall in conversing with females in general.
callista_neoni
Well you're doing pretty well with the conversations so far animekid ;) I used to be the one that hung out with all the guys; mainly because I'd known them all since nursery. When I got older and girls changed mentally and physically, they (the girls) grew apart from me. They didn't seem to understand I was simply mates with the guys and started having a go at me. So I never really had any girl mates. I was always one for the friendzone (though I never actually realised that that was what I was doing), stating that the guy was 'just' a friend; it was because I was frightened of losing their friendship and being nervous about taking anything further...and so nothing ever happened. And again, everyone grew apart. Plus all the boys treated me like one of them so they didn't help either lol! The only advice I can give to you is just be yourself :) I know everyone says that and it can get boring after a while - especially when it never seems to work and no one talks to you - but girls do like a calm boy who can laugh and joke with them freely because they're comfortable in themselves. Girls like to be flattered and flirted with. Most of us like it when the guy takes the inititive; trust me, a lot of us are just as scared about talking to you as you are talking to us! And making the first step gives you a lot of bonus points. Have the female friends you already have got other female mates they can introduce you to? What about similiar interests/hobbies? When I was at uni one of the things they made the first years do was to join small clubs for the first couple of weeks (I did cooking, countryside clean up and comic drawing) and that was a laugh. There were boys and girls, no one knew anybody and we were all in the same boat, so it was actually quite easy to talk to each other/joke about messing up the quiche/get help pulling up roots/laugh over what the person before had drawn etc. In all honestly I can understand if you laugh at my words; I'm not really the best one to help you with stuff like this and it might sound quite a jumble (and I apologise for the wall of text) heh *sweat drop* but...if it helps in any way then I'm glad ^^
animekid
That mentality seems to be somewhat common among girls when growing up *to the not being able to believe that one is just friends with the guys without ulterior motive*. From a male perspective it seems kind of funny to think of a girl being friendzoned since you usually only hear about it happening to guys *not trying to take what you've said lightly at all* Friendzone is something easy to get into but so hard to get out of :( It would be so nice and probably much easier if one could tell when "points" were made and how much difference it makes when you do certain things i.e. take first step, say flirtatious line, being courteous. So you have a better feeling of how things are going. But it might be just as bad of an idea/thing if one could tell *without being told, so basically like a mindreader* for the same reasons that it would be helpful. A good example I guess might be referencing the movie What Women Want, as to what I just said. Sort of, kinda, not so much haha. It's all a work in progress pretty much. Most of the female friends I have (not online that is) don't really live anywhere close to me (under an hour) and so any of their friends would most likely be the same. Sadly for the good and the bad of it, most of my interests/hobbies revolve around anime/manga/videogames for the most part and anime isn't a very big thing around my area (over an hour in a few different directions outside of my area is a different matter lol of course just as long as it isn't near me its abundant XD ) Your situation sounds like it was a blessing in disguise with the club. Nah, I'm glad you stopped by and said what you said :)
callista_neoni
Hahah! Be glad your friends are only an hour away, I've gotta go 2-4 hours before I actually hit civilization! And my best friend lives 10 hours away from me, so I'm quite glad that she texts me every day :) I think being psychic would solve an awful amount of problems...saying that, it would probably cause an awful amount of NEW problems hehe. Hahah the friendzone! I honestly had no idea what it was! But, I tell you something, because I was basically 'one of the lads' since I can remember, I found it easier talking to them than the girls. And they would answer all my questions too! No matter how weird or...erm...well, you know how your mind works after a few drinks lol! I'm glad I found this place, and yes, I'm still finding my feet and there are very few people in here that are actually in the same country (until Scottish Independance lol) as me, but it's still nice to chat to others that have the same likes as you. Even if that person is a hundred miles away, male or female, its quite nice knowing you can forget about work and real life and just chat about stuff you enjoy ^^
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