Are you alive or just living?

I have life by the nuts. I'm living BRO >:O!!

I'm alive but I don't see myself living just yet. I haven't reached a point in my life where I am truly enjoying myself. I never had the luxury of spending loads of cash for the sake of vanity when I was growing up. So I developed a habit of saving money, but guess where that money goes? Someones always in need. But living doesn't necessitate money, but simple enjoyment from whatever you define it as. The problem with me and the culture I and have been influenced by encourages spending. You get no where if you don't got the cash, but this is the capitalist America we wanted. Vanity and materialism is the price we pay for Capitalism. Forgive me, I really don't want to sound like a Marxist but that's what's on my mind right now, sorry for the digression.

I live my live to find an acceptable way to die. I tend to live dangerous and like the Marine Corps cuz in my life ive wanted to die, but suicide is for cowards so id rather live this live to the fullest especially if that means I burn out a bit sooner.