I’ve accepted that if there is a hell at the end of all this that is where I will end up, but don’t worry I won’t do anything of ultimate evil I still have a conscious.

Your sweet, I may be a kind and good person but that doesn’t excuse my past, monsters have to accept what they are we just have to or we are posing as something we are not. Thanks though.

Oh girl the things I had to do in the past just to survive another day were horrid I hurt I plundered I even made useless the people who were only trying to survive like me, my second love died because of a man who led people found me to be a threat and he overdosed her on purpose, I beat that man he lays in a hospital bed now with so much damage he can’t talk or eat, and that is the only reason I’m not in jail now, because I turned a man into a vegetable and I’ve done so much more, I’m a monster huh?

I know you mean well, but even when we were together she devoted so much of herself to me to levels of unhealthy, but you don’t have to worry I won’t ever take such a path I just wonder, do you think that pass deeds come back for us in the end, I think so and I wonder what I’ll have to do to make up for them.

Yeah she made it very clear “without you life isn’t worth another day!” those were her last words to me the fucking echo and won’t quit I failed her just like before don’t you get it I fucked the world so many times its fucking with the ones I care for, and for that matter I have ever cared for.

Yes, and I think this time it was all my fault, I failed another person, should I even try to love anymore I only seem to bring the worst to them in the end.

LOL Brain is cool

You remember the other night I was drinking and you remember Sam my ex well she went through with her threat and I don’t know what to think of myself anymore.