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dating one person at a time or more?

eric0
Ok so a lot of people like to date one person at a time and a lot of people like to date more than one person at a time. (internet dating doesn't count) Which way is the best in your opinion and why.
verflixt
They both have their pros and cons (as is the case with most things), but I'd have to say dating multiple is effective and efficient while dating one at a time can deepen trust, unerstanding, and respect. I can't say I've ever dated but this is just what I can form based off of what I've observed and heard from others. Dating multiple people can let you compare who's out there and find what you prefer out of your set options. Although, the drawback of course is that someone has to come out on top, so you can be left with melodramatic tension which isn't healthy. Dating one person at a time is definitely slower, but you really show loyalty to said person, and there is the potential to focus on them more and learn to understand them on a deeper level. Personally I'd go with one person at a time.
alanzd
This answer won't be based on morality, but rather on efficiency. So you can guess the answer already, but I'll go ahead and explain why (I will give an answer based on my morals after this one :)). Dating multiple people at a time has a lot of advantages that I can see. You can categorize them based on their traits and make a list out to weigh the pros and cons of each person. I think of it like a job interview since I used to hire people in tutoring centers. You can see their qualifications and credentials and their work habits. Cream of the crop. You also have back up plans incase you have to abort mission halfway through. Basically, if you're more of a machine, go for this one. Now, this will be my personal answer :) I'm a monogamist. I'm an inherently loyal person due to my uh... pride issues. I've only been in two relationships in my life, but in them, I really didn't think of anyone else. Even in friendships, once I establish a solid connection, they stay in my head if I let my mind wander. My loyalty even stays after the relationship ends. It might only be once every few months, but I always wonder how they are doing and if they are healthy and happy. I can't date more than one person at a time. Mentally, that'd be impossible for me. I'd feel massive amounts of guilt and displeasure. Same if I found out the person I was dating at the time was also dating other people. I would feel really sad.... TL;DR Logically speaking, polygamy/polyandry makes more economical sense if the unit of measurement is based on efficiency. I'm a monogamist that prides himself on loyalty
shawnji
If everyone is on the same page, then I think dating mutiple people at once is fine. My parents both told me that they dated multiple people at the same time, just with the understanding that there wasn't going to be anything physical unless it became monogamous. Now polyamoury is a bit different since there are a lot of risks involved if everyone involved isn't explicitly clear with each other about their intentions. I have a good friend who is polyamourous, and a former professor of mine was a known swinger, and they both have hurt people because of poor communication. It is a difficult path, but some people find they can't live any other way. Honestly, that's better than trying to force monogamy and then ending up cheating on your partner down the road. It's worth noting that my polyamourous friend has several people he's involved with romantically, but not physically, and he maintains that those relationships are often harder to deal with the emotional fallout from when they end. I'm highly monogamous. As sexy as the idea of mulitiple partners can seem at times, I really wouldn't feel right about it, and I like the intimacy that comes from having that one person who knows you better than anyone else and is your best friend and lover all in one.
eric0
Well said everybody. Thanks for responding by the way, I'm still kinda new to this site and not many people have responded to the other things that I have posted yet for whatever reason. Maybe they just suck idk lol. Now if you make it clear that you are dating someone already before you begin dating the other(s). You also say there won't be anything physical happening until you have figured out which person you want to begin a relationship with. Is this a moral thing or a preference thing? What are your thoughts?
rainx
Jun 29, 16 at 10:45am
If all parties are aware of what's going on and are okay with it, and no one is actually in a serious dedicated monogamous relationship, then I don't see a major problem with it. That being said, I could very easily see many people not to thrilled with the idea of someone they're potentially interested dating another person at the same time as them. The dating phase, while not technically exclusive as a relationship, still can have the expectation that both parties are potentially interested in one another and bringing a third wheel into the mix outside of spending time with one another could definitely be construed as someone who isn't dedicated enough to be in a monogamous relationship and can raise some major red flags with a person. For that reason, when I'm in the dating phase with a girl, I don't pursue any other potential channels unless I know or feel the current girl I'm dating isn't going to go anywhere.
nekokitty0706
for me personally, I put a lot of myself into a relationship. I couldn't imagine the thought of trying to juggle different people O_O that just sounds exhausting.
chocopyro
I think its fair to say, I prospect multiple people if only to see who my options are. So I am okay with dating multiple people casually. But thats a lot of energy spent trying to get to know people. Ideally, zeroing in on one person is what I prefer. Like The misunderstood just said, I tend to invest a lot of energy into relationships. I go deep into my partner's emotional psyche, dreams, interests, goals, ect. I like to help her through turmoils, and I need that in return. (Thankfully, I'm adept at navigating my emotions, so I can spend long periods of time being single.) For me, this kind of connection comes all too naturally to me, and it nourishes me when I get that back in return, even in relationships that are still premature, and not quite serious. So I really need to be picky on who I choose to make sure we're both right for each other at the core.
jellz
At first I'm likely going to talk to multiple people, but once one of them catches my attention I would likely forget about the others. If I don't focus in on one I don't think I can say I gave it a fair shot.
adamstone
Harem's should stay what they are "A fantasy" you'll just end up hurting someone dating multiple girls at once. (cough) A harem would be nice though.... (cough)
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