Stens Thoughts

that depends on the country many countries in europe except for some have an age of consent under 18. in sweden its 15 i believe.

huh, cool that means depending on age i am underage xD well its only a few months til i have my birthday.. not like it would change anything though

i have seen complaints about some threads being depressing, no shit that it would be like that. you cant just tell someone to "buckle up". you dont know what they are going through >:c

I mean if they are truly depressed you should not complain about their threads, you should just leave em be or try talking to them (which some people have done here, thank you :D) also telling someone with depression to just buckle up is like telling someone in a wheelchair to just stand up. it aint exactly that simple.

i feel sad and lonely again :D mostly because no one seems interested in me.... it feels like i am just wasting away in my room, soon another weekend has passed and i am still just sitting in my chair playing videogames. Even though videogames are only fun when i am talking to my friends :c i wish my best friend was online right now. it is probably me who considers him that :c to him i am probably just an insect whose trust is to be crushed :( goddamn i am feeling worse and worse each day that passes. i have even started skipping school sometimes because i just can't go... i am too tired and idk why but sometimes i feel like puking (even though i am not sick?) thats probably weird.... sorry for being weird. sorry for even being on here, i am probably ruining everyones day :( sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry.......................... this probably is not helping my attractiveness haha i wont even get anyone on a site created for dating let alone in real life :(

who am i kidding, if no one reads this shit then it wont matter HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... sorry, if my father finds all of this then he will probably be disappointed in me because i have still not told him i am depressed as fuck, he even asks me if i want to accompany him on things but i never do because i have no energy at all because i am depressed and then i get guilty because i dont join him.....

everytime i am reading what i have written i just feel more and more like i am going insane or like i am some desperate loser... i wish i could just stop hating myself for every mistake i do but i never see the good stuff i do :c well i know that i am better than my colleagues in some aspects, in some others i am bad. i am acting like a literal idiot at class because i dont want people to know i am sad and as such i am seen as someone with lower than average IQ even though mine is 137 - 149 (according to several online tests and yes i do know that they usually suck at measuring intelligence. i am probably at 100 - 120)

sorry for writing so much, its just that i am very sad and lonely, i wish i had someone that would love me, my standards really arent that high. i just want someone that will talk through voice (preferrably discord), watch anime and help me when i am feeling like this. although that last one will probably be hard because whatever the fuck i do i always get sad, i have not tried meds or therapy because i am too anxious and nervous to speak to a professional, i mean i can barely walk past a stranger without holding my breath and hoping he doesnt think i am weird? even though that person does not even know me.... i even miss to answer to some people, like a few days ago someone said hi to me outside of school but i didnt know they were talking to me because only my friends do that and then they got mad when i did not answer, fucking hell i am changing the subject again JOAJDSOPJAFPOJDSOPGPOISIJFAOPIJSDOPASKFLÖJMDSLFNKJSDLKFNJDSLFMKLDSNJFLKSDNLF i wish i could sleep but it is still quite early (10 pm) and i got tired like 4 pm... i never sleep before 10 pm because then i have missed my whole evening/night.... i should honestly just stop being a little bi*** but my brain is like "NOPE time to feel sad :D".. sorry for making this one long aswell, sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry i am honestly sorry for writing here but i dont have anywhere else. sorry for making depressive threads... i am sorry.... that probably is not enough.......... sorry everyone that read this, you probably think i am just bitching because i want to....