Anonymous confessions!

@1k65 Man... I feel bad for what I did in the fanfic even though that isn't me XD

#1k76 Muffin agrees that she would have dated Enki if muffin was into females :V

#1k77 INFERIOR LIFE FORMS DETECTED MUST EXTERMINATE

#1k78 Why does not knowing where i’m Headed and being lazy drifting along make me at ease yet it also eats at me. I want friends and no conflict but I rarely try because even though I talk to people sometimes it feels better to be trapped away but I know it’s not good, Being productive feels hard or even doing hobbies or fun things feel like a dragging the point where I’ve found I’m procrastinating even video games and other things. I have a sense of wanting but also another feeling of I don’t wanna do anything. I know what’s right and what is wrong for me most of the time but I’m also lacking in the capacity for emotion to make decisions and have to sole rely on others emtions or compelling to do things or to actually feel and even then I still have no drive. Listlessness is absolutely a cur to my being and has caused me to become idle in gaining life experiences or just maybe one day leaving all I’m trying to do and invest myself into one thing or part of myself that may or may not be lucrative. My future is unknown but at this point I don’t want or really need anything deep down but in reality I’m Entertained by the concept of things but not the actual thing itself. I wish I had drive, or some sort of inner motivation. The only time I feel that way is if it’s genuinely for someone else and never myself, or if there’s someone to show and make happy and proud that isn’t family. Watching others be happy in a sense replaces my own but I guess that’s just how I am.

#1k79 Is it bad that I don’t actually conceptualize taste or other things some times or even smells. I already had a bad time smelling and tasting food but like at this point I’ve convinced myself for years about it and my sense of smell and taste has gotten “meh” and things started to become good taste bad taste and foods in certaint groups all start to taste the same noticing less and less details. I don’t think about flavor anymore I just eat, I notice the textures of foods more now to. This same thing occurs with smells to I don’t know how to describe the smell of flowers outside it smells like flowers similarly when I say all meat taste the same to me. I know a little bit about embeding compelling ones self and how to upsurge inherent conditioning for myself but I wonder if that’s part of the reason why some stuff I’ve repeated over the years has probably broken my mental psyche a bit

#1k80 I have voices in my head or I percieve them to be there and my ideas on conscious is pretty minute. I have a voice in my head that has been here since middle school and has done all kinds of stuff, such as given me info, and tell me right for wrong but in a way that this stuff in the future would be right and wrong and it has gone through many phases with in me. Yet, personally my sense of right and wrong is based in that voice that’s maybe made up or me just clinging to something or I’m delusional I really don’t know... But, my sense of right and wrong things for me to do or the act of doing anything with out it is very watered down. I notice I start to operate more on information then acting on habitual impulses based off of what ever information I can relieve from what ever event or thing is going on or I do nothing and let things pass by. It feels like a piece of me is missing when I don’t have someone to tell me what to do.

#1k81 I cry a lot tbh, forcefully, as a joke, anger, sense of loss But never really sad. Some how I don’t cry when I’m sad as much compared to everything else