Body Issues WARNING maybe triggering for some

Like everyone else I'm the same and have a similar case to most, short and skinny. I wouldn't say I'm overly self conscious about it, likely because I've been like this my whole life. Only last month have I started to do something about it but it's a slow and (in a way) painful process.

I guess I'll throw my two cents in since everyone else has. Because of my acne when I was a teenager, I've long since had a phobia of looking at myself in the mirror. I'm always terrified about seeing ugly red marks on my skin, even though I don't have much of a problem with them anymore. I also don't like taking pictures of myself because I'm scared I don't look like how I want to view myself.

I have a similar issue bloody, maybe not as much with the acne but just like when I take pictures of myself they fall into two categories. 1. I've carefully examined what I'm wearing, angle, lighting, facial hair, hair (on top of my head), etc etc and have gone through a thorough screening process so I look somewhat presentable 2. Fuck it - this is what I look like meh go ahead and semi cringe *shrugs* I don't feel like going through the first scenario

You've gotta eat to stay alive homegirl!! I had a friend with bulimia & one with anorexia before I met her. I could never understand it myself, but I know it was very hard for them to realize/ go through it. I think the main take-away is that people care about you and you've gotta eat to function properly. I'm no nutritionist, but I wish you success in your struggle. People you don't even know are rooting for you =]. On a side note, I've always hated how I stopped growing right at 5'11", how I never had real abs, and how one thumb is noticeably longer than the other. Trivial things, but the truth is we all want what we don't have lol. The irony of life I guess.

It's physically impossible for me to to play bigger intervals than a dezime (that's the term used in Germany at least. From a du to a mi an octave further away). I've been playing the piano since I was 5 and stretch my hands regularly so trust me. As motivating the motto practice makes perfect can be to beginners I know my body's limits. Plus i don't want to end up like that composer who stretched his hands that much that he fucked them up and had to give up the piano as a whole.

Exild Pajamas ya i guess its hard 2 undrstand rlly but it my case, eatng jst seeemmd i duunno, impossible? its hrd to explain. anorexia is rlly a more mental illness nd our brains cnt thnk normally lyk normal ppl wen it comes to food. nd its not abt wantng to be thin or anyhtng. its rlly rlly hard to xplain. i guess ur friends are in a similar boat too, lyk they cant xplain thmsleves to you? trust me its rlly hard. we knw we need to eat for survival but... i dunno man its hard XD

hello again evryne! XD here is a vry hlpful site/forum 4 eatind dsorders nd other body issues. d ppl r very accpting nd also rspectful of privacy nd ur stories. if u or someone u knw is suffering, pls let them knw dat such intrnet sites exist nd dey r not alone thx thx XD XD XD http://www.myproana.com/ (my fave coz its very nice nd actve) http://www.mianaland.com/welcome.php http://www.webiteback.com/forum/ http://whyeat.net/forum/forum.php

I feel for everybody that's struggling with body issues. I think we all have some sort of insecurities about that kind of thing. I was really bad about it even from an early age. I used to get teased a lot in school about being chubby as a kid, and I would go home and look in the mirror every day just to see if I looked any better than the day before. I used to feel like it didn't matter what I did, because I'd always be too heavy or too ugly. When I went to Japan as an exchange student, a lot of incredible things happened in terms of helping me gain confidence. I dropped down to 160 lbs at one point and it was like some kind of a drug for me. I loved feeling so healthy every day and I was always going out and doing things. Unfortunately, when I came back to the US, I had a bad case of cross-culture shock that sent me into a bit of a depressive state. I eventually got on medication that had a side-effect of making it easier to gain weight, and that just made things worse. I'd get a lot more sedentary and binge eat whenever I was feeling down and out, or even just when I felt bored. I eventually ballooned up to 250 lbs. before getting onto a different medication and improving my diet. Mind you that I actually gained a ton of weight while I was in Japan for the second time even while eating fairly healthy, so some medications really can just mess up your system. At any rate, now I'm back down to just over 200 lbs. but I still feel feel somewhat insecure at times. Still, I find that I've gradually stopped caring as much about what other people think than I used to. More than feeling attractive, what I really want is to just feel healthy again. I want to feel like I have enough energy to climb mountains and swim oceans. Hopefully I'll get back to that point again someday. There's still a lot of living that I want to do outside of my apartment walls.