I feel stuck in a rut

proud beast you hit the nail on the head that is exactly what I do and that is the exact reason I do it. keisanki I feel as though I'm not a bad looking guy and I take care of my self that I worked on and I know feel comfortable in the things I wear and feel as though not only when I try but all the time I look pretty cool but I still find my self shy or not knowing what to say when I'm in a situation where I have the chance to talk to a cute girl. I surprisingly get those chances a lot as I work in a mall selling clothes but still it's hard for me to transition from ether guy helping you buy clothes and trying to sell a bit into interesting nice guy that the girl should get to know. In another case it would be that I find it hard to transition from friendly conversation into showing interest without being blunt and just saying hey your cute can I get your number witch I think comes off as to strong to most girls.

Haha lol proudbeast that's exactly what I do most of the time but in all honesty I'm a geek at heart and when I do meet girls I expect them to have same interest and well its hard But I'm still waiting.

I never know what to say. Add on that I'm naturally quiet (too quiet) and perfectly comfortable with awkward silences, and you'll understand that the kind of conversation you were talking about really isn't something I'm naturally good at. It's something that takes a bit of work at for most guys. First off, people like to talk about what they are interested in. If you're having this kind of talk with a girl, you probably want to know what she's into, so it's a win-win situation. Get her interested in you. Talk about what makes you different than other guys, but don't come off as someone who loves to talk only about himself (it's hard finding a balance sometimes, but less talk here is worth more here as long as there's some at all). Do you volunteer (food kitchen, convention, anything at all)? Do you draw? Write? Once you find out she's into anime, then cosplay becomes something to talk about safely. As much as it is important to talk about you here, try to get her included in this part. Does she do any of these things? If she does, then you have something in common to talk about. If she doesn't, then she'll either want to hear more about what it is that you do, try to prove to you that she's interesting as well, or you might want to move on if you've already mentioned quite a few things and she isn't responding. The hardest part is just getting that balance of talking about yourself and talking about her. Since you sell clothes, it should help a bit. Get her to talk about herself while being part of the conversation, and sell yourself while keeping her included in the conversation. There are many parts of the world where I guy can go up to a woman and say "I find you attractive. Would you like to go on a date sometime?" Unfortunately, the USA and UK aren't quite included in that. I don't know about the UK, but people aren't open about their feelings much in the US. It just makes things needlessly complicated.

I think if I found a girl as into anime and video games as much as I am it would be a lot easier to talk about stuff cuzz I know a lot about those 2 subjects :P. Through this I decided that's what I wanted a girl that likes that stuff as much as I do. The only other thing I know about is music and the scene that I'm involved in is full of chicks looking for the bad boy that I am not not to mention the vast majority of them smoke and drink a lot and though I can deal with it I'd really rather not.

I'm a full-blown otaku (mostly because there hasn't been anything else to do), so being accepting of anime is a bare minimum requirement for me. Of course, there are plenty of other things that matter in a relationship, especially personality, but I can't see someone who isn't accepting of anime to have a lasting relationship with me. If I can't talk about the things I love most with my own girlfriend, then there's a problem.

I can agree with that man now if only I could find someone like that in my age group. honestly I don't care if they are shy I'm shy I don't even care if we can make clever conversation as long as there is something there. There's a quote I like to use from pulp fiction to paraphrase when you find someone that you can share a moment of silence with and feel absolutely nothing wrong with it then you know you have found someone truly special.

Finding someone like that is no simple task, and is quite frustrating at times, but sticking it out until I've found her. The problem with what you said is that I've had countless times where awkward silences were the best part of a conversation, so I'm kind of immune to feeling awkward when they do come up. Is my "she's the one" sensor broken? :)

not really just something I thought i'd point out as something I want to find everyone has their own stuff though I honestly wouldn't mind a girl who was that shy at least at first. It would just mean more challenge in breaking down that wall and more rewarding of a feeling when I do. Plus i think shyness is cute.

I completely agree with that statement and would love a girl like that as long as I could break here out of here mental shell eventually.