A Good Poop Story

Ok this should be fun This is about my father, whose pride is poop stories. (I wasn't there btw he just likes to share with everyone) One day while driving home from work he started having stomach pain. He started sweating at the wheel, looking for somewhere to take a dump. He found a small gas station and decided that it would work. He rushed inside and took, and i quote "The biggest, greasiest shit" he'd ever taken in his entire life. Unluckily for him the toilet didn't work properly and overflowed onto the floor immediately after he flushed. The poop was on the floor after that.. And he just up and left. Apparently the two girls working at the time argued about who would clean it up. And he swears he heard one of them quit that night. Another story is that he once pulled over and took a dump by the side of the road when he had super bad diarrhea. He had to wipe with his favorite shirt, and he threw that shirt up a tree when he was done. This was when he and my mother first started dating. Apparently every time he passed his old shirt with her in the car he'd point and yell "Hey look it's my favorite shirt!"

So. One christmas eve i got drunk with my cousin and my sisters BF. We ran outta beer so naturally we took down a whole bottle of wine..Needless to say I was more sick than drunk. DON"T MIX WINE AND BEER IN LARGE QUanTITIES. The other guys were real drunk doe. We were sayin sappy shit like "Love ya bro!" and dancing arm in arm. I was layin on the couch and throw up. Smell is so bad...i went to my room and slept. NExt day...NEEDLESS TO SAY IT WAS A SHITSHOW! Puke was on the floor upstairs, downstairs, on the couch(me). I remember waking up a lot of times to throwup in the toilet so my head was on straight. Anyways, someone took a shit in the storage room downstairs and all the way upstairs were poop marks/scraps on the side of the topload washer. The other 2 kept deflecting the blame "it wasn't me!" lmfAO! But my detective eyes showed they musta got up, started pooping in the room. Then wandered upstairs and thought the washer was a huge toilet tryin to shit in it XD. Best part was that it was my sisters BF but he kept denying it. My cousin was in the same spot from where he dozed off but my sisters BF was in one of the farthest guest rooms...We had a shit cleaning hangover/sleepover after christmas, HOORay!\ btw..i'm not a drinker, just social drinker (HEY its Xmas, YOLO, PEER PRESSURE)