bummed out could use someone to talk to.

I'm sorry for what you have gone through. I know I will never understand what you had been through but from what I can read It must be really heavy on your being. It must feel really horrible to feel that you powerless to do anything and any way out seems to be all closed to you. And the world seems to be against you at every turn. But hang in tight, concentrate on your lovely boy. I bet he loves you to pieces. Try not to dwell on things that is out of your control, and be strong, and just think about today and not the past or tomorrow ya. One of these day a door will open up. And vent all you want, venting is good. If you need someone to chat too about random things or vent on skype I'd be happy to.

Thank you guys for the words of encouragement. Sorry I got offline for a minute my son had an accident and woke up. Its very hard doing this on my own, I always had my husband Stephen he was the best father a child could ask for. I got more support on this one forum then I have in almost two years. It makes me feel better.

There are support groups that you could potentially look into if you struggle on a regular basis. Make friends where you feel comfortable and do your best to retain a level of optimism that is both healthy for you and your son. During great bouts of depression individuals struggle with the realization that eventually it will pass and you will eventually have elevated emotions that are positive. I know several women in similar situations as yourself - don't worry too much about doing this all on your own, because, the reality is you'll eventually find people who can support you emotionally. Just don't jump the gun to where you may get taken advantage again as the priority should be both your son and your well being.

Wow. Sounds like you were dealt a pretty tough hand in life. It's admirable that you're still working your hardest, and it's refreshing to see. And it's just as mr_ambig says. You can ALWAYS beat depression and there's nothing wrong with getting support to fight it. You will meet true friends and maybe a loved one down the road, you just have to keep the strength to continue down that road. It's really great to see you staying so strong for your son. He's got a good mom.

Do i now that feeling of having no one to talk to. Here i am at 11 pm looking through these threads and theres really nothing that grabs my attention. Then this pops up and makes me laugh that i have to look about 2 months in the past to find a thread i relate to. Wish i was as optimistic as yall