sex tape

It's a matter of perspective. From a woman's point of view it is a form of emotional betrayal since you did deceive her even if it was only for a short period of time. (and women are constantly paranoid of being hurt/betrayed by men since it happens so frequently. So in their minds it puts up a red flag on the possibility of betrayal in the future. Maybe in more severe ways if you guys get into a fight or breakup.) From a man's perspective, you didn't share the tape with anyone so you didn't really betray her. But we have a bad habit of thinking of things in a logical action based perspective but often don't realize the emotional perspective. I have done things like that too. (Not the filming, but doing things without realizing the emotional impact of my actions from a female perspective).

One thing that has always bothered me. In our culture women are either placed, or place themselves in a victim mindset. By that I mean they let themselves be bothered by things that men do because they they are supposed to be bothered. They are weak because they are expected to be weak. Men are not stronger than women emotionally, they just tend to fall into idealized roles that society has placed for them. They don't have to do that. For example: whenever a guy wants to insult a woman, or even a woman insults another woman; the first words used are "slut" or "whore". And that's only used as an insult because women allow themselves to be bothered by such insults. In reality it's just a stupid insult that rarely has anything to actually do with promiscuity. And even when it does, it's nobody's business who you slept with or how many. Men are not bothered by who or how many they slept with, why should women be? If women stopped giving a shit what other people thought about their sexual habits then people would stop using it as an insult because it would no longer have the desired effect of upsetting and demeaning them. Insult are used to hurt and cause a reaction in you to let the offending person know that they managed to hurt you which gives them satisfaction. Don't let it bother you and you take away their satisfaction. Same thing goes with naked pictures/videos. Only women seem (most of the time) to get really upset when they are shared with others. Who gives a fuck if someone sees you naked? The more you hide yourself and act vulnerable, the more you will be victimized when someone wants to hurt you. Some dude or ex shares that shit, don't go crying to him asking why he did it or hide. Walk up to him and kick him in the balls. Someone hurts you on purpose, hurt them back. Don't give him the satisfaction of showing him how weak and hurt you are. Don't be the victim. Women have more power over men than men do over women. Use it.

Now that is more constructive and I can relate and understand your statement vampire_neko. I was looking for that kind of clarity. I am not saying by any means that what I did was right. But also that her point of view wasn't clear to me. That makes sense. Thank you for that. As for the earlier remarks made no one asked for opinions that don't help clarify the situation. The moment your statement puts you in a judgmental state. It becomes dismissive. You shouldn't think you have the right to press and kick someone when they're down. Luckily I am not really in that state.

I agree with your statement about the power women have. I often wish women had more confidence. They always seem to think the worst and become easily hurt. At least the ones I met. Although I have met a few manipulative ones as well. Although more fun you can get burn.

Not to be rude, but what you did is not a good act. Put yourself in your girl shoe that you wouldn't want to be film. Beside, you guys not marry and is impolite to film her without her notice. Is good that you learned from your mistake and never do that again because she had every reason to sue you. You got lucky this time and I think you should treasure her more. I usually ask my ex before doing any thing that she don't like. Although keeping a video is good since most boy want memory, still need permission. Some girl don't like it because she don't want to get blackmail in the future.

Just ask her https://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lydleyo1OT1ql28j5o1_500.gif

I agree with ya'll that you MUST ask first ryuseven_0. Some women are totally into, some are not. A have a married friend who's wife does not like having photos taken of her AT ALL. So it's hard enough to get an innocent pic of her, yet along an intimate one. She's part of an old fashion Japanese generation of women that... think more conservative about stuff like that. She's his wife and he has to respect that. (Though he hopes she'll be open to change(s).) You cannot betray someone's trust like that at ANY cost. In the end it's not worth the problems it creates when you don't ask for consent. I understand your reasoning by wanting to make the recording more real but you still need to ask. (In my state, it's illegal to record a telephone conversation without consent. Even though personally I can see why I would want to to catch someone red handed for legal reasons.) I've seen news reports of people killing themselves because a sextape (without their consent) was made and "leaked" on the net. You don't know how someone will react. On the lighter side of things I'm actually surprised how more willing women are into stuff like that these days. I have ex's that like taking intimate selfies to show off to themselves they are hot/sexy/whatever. My rule of thumb is, I think most would agree, to ASK FIRST and keep it private between the two of ya (or three; I don't know your relationship situation(s).)