Why are we to blame?

I want to know why is it, that every decent and honest guy out there, has to be summed up by the actions of another? Why do women say they always want a good man, yet fall for the asshole who will break their hearts? Why are we forced to pay for the mistakes of another? Why are we to blame?

From my experience, "normal" women want a confident "nice guy". Most of the confident "nice guys" they see are usually taken and the insecure "nice guys" they meet aren't the most out-going, attractive, confident, etc which are not desirable traits in a significant other to them. So, in turn, they start dating the confident "asshole" in hopes of turning them into the confident "nice guy" but it rarely works out. They value the confidence so much, they'd rather put up with an "asshole's" BS than date the insecure "nice guy". A lot of insecure "nice guys" out there unfortunately can give off a sense of entitlement because they feel being a "nice guy" should be enough to date most women and in-turn, also makes them less desirable to girls without the "nice guy" realizing it. In turn, this ruins things for the legitimately good insecure "nice guys" out there because of the stigma that sense of entitlement permeates through most women's minds. Now obviously every situation is different, but that's just my experience, and like most guys on here I've probably been shot down far more than I'd like.

@Cecil Pretty much. And OP, if you think at any point, even for a moment, that you are entitled to another human being, you are not a "nice guy", you are the scum of the earth. Sigh... This usually goes both way, women complain men only want "bitches" and men complain women only want "assholes". And yeah, with the "asshole" you at least know what to expect, with the "nice guy" who feels you "own" him something? Now THAT is a psychopath.

Yeah I gotta agree with Cirno, No one owes anyone anything for just being who they are. If you truly believe your a nice guy( I myself see me as a realist and try my best), Then don't envy others, it's not "Nice", If you look hard enough, long enough you'll find someone, But they may say no if you think they should like you. Humility my friend, It's a hard but I believe good quality. Certainly you may be nicer then others in some area's, But that doesn't make you better, Just smarter. Plus you don't know how the assholes act at home, They could be a saint to their families and friends at home and just putting up an act to try to be cool and accepted. We all want acceptance, even if some don't show it in the ways others do. Remember that before you label someone else and it will go far for you.

Becuase were too picky and hold our standards higher than they should. Both men and women need a reality check. Cirno and Cecil amen to that!

Media also distorts the way we think relationships should be... Think about about what a girl who reads/watches shoujos expectations are? And vice versa