Inquiry

Kon'nichiwa. I had something on my mind since joining this site and I'm sure a majority of the guys and girls on here play some kind of video game. Whether it be PC games, console, or handheld. But when it comes to a relationship, I've noticed this becomes a major problem for some couples. I myself love playing games, but I also have priorities when knowing that there are more important things as well. In past experiences, the guys and girls I've dated always seemed preoccupied with the electronic devices rather than wanting to spend actual quality time together. What makes playing a game more interesting than actually interacting with a person? Or maybe from the viewpoint of the person who spends way too much time playing games, do they think their significant other is overreacting about it? I personally feel as if I'm second fiddle whenever someone is more interested in playing a game rather than wanting to go out or do something together. I would love opinions on this. Has anyone been in a relationship like this, did it work out? Or was it too much of an issue?

Too much of an issue, period. I'm usually open minded on topics like this and express opinions on both factors. But my last two relationships had the other person spending too much time on video games, with other people mind you, rather than even a little bit of time with me, and the only time wanted to be spent was playing games with me. Now i'm a huge gamer, i'm opened minded to. But a relationship needs many aspects taken care of. But hey, i'm fine with playing games too you know? Although my last two girlfriends wouldn't even give certain games a chance, just because they didn't feel like it. Thus, all they did was play other things by themself or with others. Never doing that again, neither should you. 8D It's like not being in a relationship at all. Cuddling or cutesy phone conversations don't make up for the hours days and weeks of neglect due to an "Addiction" of the sort. This may have turned into a blinded rant, and I apologize for that, but that's my opinion, not putting up with it in my next relationship. 8D

I can see this kind of both ways. One I'm that person that's always has to have something to do. Sometimes, just talking doesn't always work for me. I always have to keep my mind always doing something and/or having to think to solve something. As with that said, I'm a fairly good talk-switcher (no one is a good multitasker), I can switch my attention to one thing to another fairly quickly since I'm used to doing things that way. Even with that said, if someone doesn't have the time to even pay attention to someone, then there is a big problem somewhere. Another thing I personally think, is that everyone is desensitized to the whole electronical world. It's not like it used to be. It's more of a norm anymore to be that way, the 90's pretty much sparked everything off in a rapid sense of motion so this generation and the generation before the 90's is just a major different alone if you look at it. Imagine how the current generation will be if this is how it is with people around my age.

I appreciate your thoughts and commenting on the thread :) And I agree what has been said, but I'm gonna just add on to what you've already mentioned. I understand that many things have changed. The whole dating scene has completely changed. Social media, phones, and technology. ETC. These have had all kinds of impacts on social interaction. Like I said though, I don't mind video games. I enjoy them myself. I like using that as a method to hang out with the person I'm with. On another note, I don't like when someone gets so immersed into gaming that they completely ignore everything else for hours and hours. Today I only spent maybe 2 1/2 gaming, then I actually spent the rest with friends playing board games and watching TV. It's just a hard concept for me to grasp as to why gaming can ruin a relationship especially if both people like it, but the other just spends way too much time playing.

What number constitutes to much? The real issue is priorities and showing attention to your partner. It doesn't matter what we do for fun we have to set aside time to work and time for relationships. I don't care how long a GF does something as long as she loves on me and takes time to talk. This is normally more of an issue for otaku because we tend to be shut ins. the time that would normally be spent apart is spent in the same room so we wonder why were not getting attention. You just have to find that balance that works for you in a relationship.

i dunno man, if the other person would rather play vidya, either theyre too far gone or they just dont care about you that much tbh my super qt bf plays vidya a lot more than i do, but he would happily stop his game to hang out with me. Not that i've ever made him, asked him to or anything. i just know he would.

Ok, I got some real experience in this. One of my ex's rp'ed ib wow. This obviously meant she would be in for hours a time, doing her thing. Now most of the time I was cool with it, Because she wants to spend time with friends, it gives me time to do my stuff I wanna do, and kinda ease the stress in the relationship. Quickly you well see one of two things happen, either they will play when they need to relax, our play because pixels are more important than flesh. I'd the latter, you have to talk to them, let them know the lack of time together is putting a strain on the relationship. If things don't change c then it's time to go. I play MMOs (Ffxi), so I know the time sink they can be, but I also know if I'm with somebody, that their feelings come first, irrespective of your 800 gem crafting our whatever. Tl;dr : gaming is fine to relax, but if it becomes excessive that you are uncomfortable. Talk to them, I'd nothing changes, leave.

I love playing games but honestly there is no right or wrong answer here Chicgeek23. This field are is black and white and comes and goes with the person. I play games a lot, watch anime a lot and read manga. When I am not doing those I am at work or practicing with my band. You see the point is over obsession. Some guys tend to dwell in games more and more and more and not even notice its a problem. The person needs to make priorities in life and know when its time to take a break. Selfishness needs to become selflessness. Trust me I stepped on this landmine on my own and lost a relationship because I was hung up on games and such; not to mention I was 17 at the time. I also know a couple in the same boat to where they fight about it. It comes down to this; Love requires sacrifice. You need to sacrifice time for that person. whats more important a game or your other? For me; If I was dating and knowing how much I like to game and stuff I put all the things I like on the back burner and do it when I am alone. My other comes first.

I've had WoW ruin friendships, so maybe the same thing? Not spending time with them...like ever. I get real intense with my PC and I use to never leave my laptop, unless I had too. Fortunately, I'm not like that anymore, but it can mess up a lot of things. But I won't just stop playing. Even if my significant other hates it. So it's a 50/50 damage.

Taylorhime I feel the same way. I wont stop gaming but priorities take place when you start a relationship. Moderation. :3