there is nothing wrong with being forever alone aside from that it rather sucks.
Hello all, I took the liberty of reading each individuals post to surmise an overall statement. I am currently 23, and slightly less than a month away from turning 24. I have only physically been with two women. Back then Prior to the first, I was 18 and was 110% okay with living and dying alone from beginning to end. At the time I would even voice it since I'm quite the egotistical twatwaffle at times.
That being said, the first real relationship I had with physical commitment (since all others last 2 or less weeks and it never got to that point since we were in middle and high school) was swell and made me yearn for it again. The problem I came across was my second real relationship that lasted 3 years, and not because I wanted it to.
I can't deny the fact that she loved me. But, she was pretty tyrannical over my life. I lost literally all but one friend due to her and how I had to act around her. I was simply a puppet in whatever game she wanted to play. She was quite mentally disfuctional due to the stress levels she got from her parents and her PhD degree she was working towards in Criminology, worst of it all during that three years I literally had to act like I didn't exist when she was on the phone with them (which was every 30 minutes since her parents hated each other but wouldn't get a divorce, and had nothing else but her to talk to since they were both in the education system.) It was arguably the worst 3 years of my life overall, there were incredibly happy moments yet those were few and far between. She used her illness at many a times as a weapon to continue to latch me in when I very obviously stated I want to break up. When she couldn't contact me for more than a minute, she would begin to freak out and call literally EVERYONE I knew to try and get ahold of me. Existence was Torment for me so much, that I had to look my parents square in the eyes and tell them, "I have to leave state, it is the only way I will escape." Then put everything I could in my car while she was off on vacation to see her parents, and left. Have had her on ignore ever since.
Why am I telling such stories? Because if I had to do it all again, to be frank I would. Having someone you know will be there for you through thick in thin is absolutely wonderous and gives some fulfillment in life. But, at the same time, never disregard yourself ultimately. Don't do what i did and put yourself through a living hell, trying to justify the want to even live if it meant being with this person. I can't lie and say I didn't come close to sitting 6 feet under.
My stanza after all of this is never stop trying for what you want. But ultimately, using the second girl for example, you simply cannot love another being. Until you have truly learned to love yourself. Each and every single one of you is an amazing human being, and deep down within you possess the inner strength to find your courage. Those who seeth confidence in every action they do WILL be noticed. The first real relationship I had, she chased after me.
In fact only living in MO for 11 months, I have done been through an actual relationship, and another I guess you could call the other one a relationship. In both instances my Kindness was taken advantage of. They knew how I felt but, they never wanted and even admitted to not wanting feel the same way, despite the first one asking all my friends if I was interested in anyone. I still chase after Love still, I wont let a few sour apples ruin my chance at the most delicious pie.
Ultimately, your happiness is decided by yourself. These two girls got under my thick armor of ego and cockiness and stabbed my soft heart. But, I did myself the favor and only let them stab it once. So Forever Alone? Fiction. You already have all the tools built in you to find that significant other and ascertain their attention. But, it is up to you to make sure you're happy first. If you're happy first before being with someone else, it will only positively influence them to want to share in your happiness. Love is a two way street, remember that. If you're not happy in the relationship then being single is okay. You can handle this, you're strong enough, and I want everyone who actually took the time to read this to say. I Believe in You.
i will say that i haven't had sex in 8 years.
and my last gf was near the beginning of this year. before that i hadnt dated in 7 years.
I feel for you, I have been goin' 11 months and it is starting to bother me.