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Marriage

azanarchy
Aug 08, 17 at 12:25am
I'm curious about people's thoughts on marriage. Most people I know say they're never getting married. They don't even think of the idea even if they've been together for nearly a decade. So, just curious on if other people feel the same or want to get married some day and if so why? What makes it important to you.
momoichi
Lamby @momoichi commented on Marriage
Aug 08, 17 at 1:55am
marriage is really nothing more than a legal contract your still the same you were, just more incentive not to break up i dont have much faith in marriage, coming from a broken home, so id really want to feel out the relationship, 5 years or more at least before, marriage, not to mention the fact that divorce is a sin for catholics its silly when people rush marriage, its nothing more than a legal document the symbolism is beautiful, sure, and i want to be proposed to in a very special way or ill say no >w>, but its really best to get married when you want to become a unite, one entity two halfs of one whole
travisemo007
No. once married it basically lets you know you dont need to put in 100% effort into your relationship anymore becuz your legally bonded. thus your life together becomes hell and boring after awhile. Fuck that. i think a relationship has a chance to be happier and last longer if you dont marry.
gudmoore
Aug 08, 17 at 8:38am
I hope to get married eventually. At the moment I'm enjoying being single, I enjoy my alone time. I dunno though, the idea that you don't have to put effort in is a cop-out to me. If you really loved them you keep putting in that effort. Same with presentation. If you got bored it wasn't love, it was infatuation.
gentlemassacre
I'm getting married before 28 that's for sure. No flashy rituals no hype none of that shit.
yaasshat
Aug 08, 17 at 9:32am
I agree with gudmoore. Why would you think that once you're married, you don't have to put in %100 effort? Just because you're now both "legally " bound, that doesn't mean you have to stop giving as much effort. If anything, you SHOULD be giving more effort. People break up more often than divorce (Not to say that the divorce rate isn't quite high, it is.), the only difference is, if you make more than your partner while married, there's alimony. If you think you don't have to put in as much effort, I believe that you're in relationships (or, the idea of them) under false pretenses. Even if you plan on not getting married, just planning on a long term relationship can be just as difficult and possibly more nerve wracking (I mean, there's nothing actually binding you, except for words and yes, that really should be enough.). As for lamby saying divorce is against the Catholic church... Well, so is premarital sex and you had no problem there. ;P (Just picking on you, Lamby.)
jamesx122
Aug 08, 17 at 9:59am
Marriage is definitely something you shouldn't rush into, and lots of things need to be discussed with your partner. Where will we live? Do we want kids, if yes how many? Will one of our jobs make us move and if so, what will the other one do? I've seen and heard enough couple not ask these questions and then start fighting a lot when they came up. That said, marriage does offer a ton of legal benefits that being together, but not married don't offer. In the u.s, if I remember correctly only 9 states, you can say you're married under common law. However, places like Canada, Australia, etc. have different rulings which I'm not familiar with. So, do research on the marriage laws wherever you are and think hard before getting married, but don't dismiss it outright would be my advice.
reinhardt76
Aug 08, 17 at 10:09am
This account has been suspended.
azanarchy
Aug 08, 17 at 12:59pm
I think you should definitely take things slow before getting married. Rushing into things always tend to take a nose dive. And of course consider all the changes that will happen and discuss them with your partner. The benefits of marriage are good but if something were to happen and you got a divorce that's costly and puts a serious strain on a person going through all that. I wish you could know if someone was gonna be with you forever so that doesn't have to be in the back of my mind if I'm considering marriage. I do like the idea of a wedding though. Dressing up like a princess for one day out of my whole life seems nice.
gcons24
gcons24 @gcons24 commented on Marriage
Aug 08, 17 at 2:16pm
Personally I look forward to it, the idea that there is someone who I could potentially be that compatible with that I spend my life with them is very appealing to me. Granted 50% of marriages fail nowadays I dont think that is enough of a reason to say it is a bad institution or that it is a bad idea. I feel like a lot of marriages fail nowadays because people rush into something that was doomed from the start or that they are doing it for the wrong reasons. I.e. because of monetary benefits or because they feel left behind by their peers. Their peers will likely have all the same problems that plague modern society with regards to marriage so there is no need to rush things In a perfect world I would be dating someone for a couple years, then we would move in together for another 2-3 before we came to the conclusion that "till death do us part" is a feasible option. Ive worked with a lot of broken families in my field for work and a lot of the common denominators were people getting married to early or essentially just because they were sexually attracted to their partner without realizing how incompatible they are. You would be surprised at the amount of people who get married for strictly physical needs, its really kind of sad. Most people would never admit it but it become obvious when there are people who could not be more incompatible. With all that being said it has made me really really picky but if I can find someone equally picky who is in it for the right reasons i dont see why it cant work. Love is love and genuine love is the best!
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