You're Different! (In a Bad Way)

My personality traits can be pretty contradicting. I'm easily overwhelmed by a sense of responsibility and duty, but at the same time, I feel like I don't owe 99.9999951% of the people on earth anything. I'm also a little self conscious about my accent. If I focus, I can suppress it pretty well, but when I'm angry, happy, or otherwise flustered, I can't control it all and I sound like an Asian guy who learned English from a Slavic person. Not to mention I can speak with a condescding tone even though I'm not trying to >.< I'm prideful, but most people are, so I guess it's not that unique? I can be territorial. I'm scared of ghosts and supernatural creatures. One that I'm trying to overcome is how dishonest I am with myself and how prideful I am with myself. It's actually getting worse if I had to admit it. After spending too much time with high school friends, I started making harambe jokes... It didn't help that Dumbfoundead released a track about it either. Physical touching is a no no. I don't mind giving hugs as long as they don't hug me back. They'll have to keep their arms down. God forbid it if someone tried to hug me from behind.

I have warped visions of good and bad but I'm definitely more honest with myself than most people around me. Does that count? I'm a christian but I'm a sadist. I like art but I act logical. I love freedom but I willingly submit. Walking contradiction here but contradiction is the truth. :D I'm not different in a bad way though, I consider myself to be great. http://images4.fanpop.com/image/polls/633000/633564_1296726809931_full.jpg (edit cuz the image isn't visible)

Not in that way, shove your submission up your ass to please yourself, Wert. http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140928191602/onepiece/images/d/d0/Boa_Hancock_Looking_Down_on_Marines.png

im actually a heartless and selfish person i only look for what can be gained and what will benefit me. when i have no need for something i show no interest. when something bores me i show no interest. i have no knowledge about the outside world cuz that doesnt revolve around me therefore i have no need for it i also wish to be the center of attention and when im not i am disappointed i think i try to hard to be liked and when it doesnt go the way i want it to i get depressed

I overreact and jump to conclusions way too much. It's mostly to protect myself from being hurt but it just causes me to be hurt anyway. I can relate to Panda-chan because I also try hard to be liked by everyone. And when I feel like I'm not I get depressed. I'm also very critical and harsh about myself which tends to push people away from me.

I'm belong in a insane asylum according to societal norms. I'm a master manipulator. If there is something I want, I will find a way to get it. I can be condescending. I'm one of the angriest and unfriendly people if I spoke my mind. Most of my ideals/beliefs are disliked by the average person. I'm a natural rebel when it comes to most things.

i feel unaccepted at times and ive heard from people every now and then that people like me is rare and special but for me i find myself disgusting in many ways and therefore always get depressed

I forget things. Not like little things like numbers and letters and how to spell stuff. I forget big things. I don't remember any of April or May. I still thought it was April 4 on the second day of June. I'll forget having full conversations, and if I made freinds with that person or not. And so I use my phone as a second brain. I store thoughts colours and feelings and just random things all over my phone. It helps me to stay calm. I get scared when people touch my phone, I'm scared they will delete my stuff. One time it happened. Three weeks worth of thoughts feelings and emotions And ideas disappeared. And then there are the memories that don't seem to be mine. When I was little I fell down the stairs and hit my head. It want bad however there was some bleeding inside and outside so I went to the hospital. I stayed there for a couple weeks. I remeber a old man with glasses and a tweed vest come into my room and put me in to a wheelchair (even though I could walk fine ) he wheeled me down to a room and sat across from him . He asked me some questions and then gave me some pills to take. Then he wheeled me back to my room and I fell asleep. When I woke up there was this weird box next to me and stitches in my arm. The second weird memory is that I had to run through these white walls. It was a maze. And I was in my hospital gown again. I think I was being timed?? I dunno. But I had to run fast. And when I was done I was put into a wheelchair again. Another weird memory is really faint. I was in this white white room. And they were sticking stuff in my head. I know it happened because there are all these little scars and scabs on my scalp that have never healed. I also feel weird from society, I just kinda feel out of it? I'm extremely tall for my gender and that may have something to do with it? I jut feel different. Like when I see other people I don't know?? Aaaaa this makes no sense to y'all does it?