so im friends with both of them..

Before I continue with the story or the problem here, I should tell you about the people involved. My friend Abby(I won't give her real name) and her boyfriend paul(also fake name, don't want to give out real ones here) have been together longer than me and my boyfriend have been together, Abby is a really sweet girl that never does anything without a reason, I know for a fact that she is really in love with her boyfriend, she always talks about him, buys him things when she has the money and would just do about anything for him. Now paul on the other hand, I know he's a good guy and very very loyal and loves her in his own way, is a jerk. He never wants to spend time with her, wants to do anything with her and when they do he complains about it! Saying that she's suffocating him and all that jazz. Now what I've told him over and over again is that if there's a problem you need to tell the girlfriend not everyone else. Now are story starts at the end of January, I get a all from abby in tears, they had broken up and obviously I did blame Paul. But I didn't find out till the next day that she'd had cheated on her boyfriend! Now I'm REALLY taken aback on this, she would NEVER do anything like this especially with someone I know shes in love with right? But I do have to give her my respect, at lest she told him and its way better than having someone else telling you, as she told me she felt like "he never wanted her around and didn't want her anymore" now I love the girl to death but she has the biggest problem in being manipulated by everyone, and the guy she had sex with really really likes her, now she did tell me that at one point she like him but not enough to date him you know? One of those crushes that come and go, and I know that he knew that abby and Paul's relationship was at a low :/ Abby feels horrible about everything and she said that she's trying very hard to fix things..but Paul from what he has told me dosent love her like he used too, he still cares about her and wants to keep her as a friend, he said that he wantes space and time but I know abby very well and she is the most inpatient girl I have ever met,but I just don't know... I love them both so much and it kills me seeing this and not being able to do anything about it. What should I do?

And I can completely understand pauls side of things, its hard to trust someone after doing that. But they have been together for so long you know? They both don't want to throw away the time and years that they had together :/

Be there for your friend Abby. It looks like Paul has made up his mind a while ago. So be a good friend. Let her know that he's been like this for a while and you think that she'D be happier if she could let go. Definitely be there for her and support her because it's going to hurt her a lot more than it will Paul to realize that it's really over and after she's done so much.

And Abby told me that he told her that they need space and time and that there's a good possibility that they could get back together but it won't be anytime now, and Abby is being really impatient and should let things heal, But I do understand that she wants to make everything better and she dosent want to see him with any other girl. Having friends is hard sometimes lol

It sounds like their relationship has been over for quite some time...I think they'd both be better calling it a day and moving on, from what you've said.

So it sounds like there are multiple things going on. 1. They're both unhappy with each other. He complains about her and she cheats on him. 2. It sounds like your friend is making really rash decisions based on her feelings, rather than thinking about it first (She leaped before she looked). It sounds like they need to spend some time apart and get to know what they both want at this point in time. Let what happens to them happen naturally. Be there for your friend, but try not to interfere. If you do, you could piss them both off. Good luck.

One simple acronym explains everything. AWALT. You stop being surprised at a certain point.

From the sounds of things it seems like Paul had been losing intrest for a while now. Perhaps Abby had changed from when he first met her. Both are at fault to some degree in what happened. I think Paul wasn't in love with her, but cared about her too much to simply break up. Rather than addressing the issue, Abby goes behind his back and has SEX with some guy! No matter how bad a relationship gets, cheating is not justified, much less taking it all the way to sex! Here's the deal. Abby tells you she is confident that they will get back together, but it's just wishful thinking on her part. From what you tell me of Paul he's never going to get back with her again. She just put the nail in the coffin on that 'sex with another man' decision.