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How to Cope With Being Single?

redworld
Hey guys! So here's the thing: I don't have a significant other. I haven't found one and I haven't had a date in months. I'm awkward, fat, and my mind doesn't really think as fast as others can. Because I'm single, I have been depressed and I even cry at night at times because of this. I feel like I'm second in everyone's life and I have no idea how I'm going to keep living with that. Anyway, I was wondering if the single people here ever felt like that and how they found out how to cope with it. If I could find some way to keep my mind off of this all, then maybe I won't be so upset all the time. So what do you guys do to cope with the pain of heartache?
bugboy
Honestly I feel that way daily. I never used to, even though I've been single for about 2 years now. It wasn't until recently depression has kicked in. I definitely feel like the second in everyone's life, so I can relate to that. For me keeping myself busy is my way to cope with it. My hobbies, and best of all, really good friends. I have no friends irl, but on MO I've got the best people to talk to. Just don't give up, you're still young. Try to get hobbies or do more activities, and always reach out to someone when you are depressed. A lot of us here on MO understand what you're going through.
neet_one
Months? try years. Anyways, there's two ways of approaching the issue. First method is to distract yourself from it. Stop thinking about how your single or whatever and do other things with your time to keep yourself busy. focus on work or hobbies or whatever. I've meet people who only make themselves more and more miserable by doing stuff like watching nothing but romance anime and porn which only serves to remind them of their problem and it's extremely unhealthy. Ask yourself why you even care, why it bothers you. Try to realize there's more to life than having a bf/gf. Second thing you can do is instead tackle the problem head on. Take everything you don't like about yourself and try to fix it. Fix yourself up a bit and get back out there. After all you haven't really lost the game until you've given up on it.
momoichi
A significant other isn't the end all be all, I'm sure you have others around you that love you even dearer then a man could But things take time, out of the billions alive there's countless who match you well. Maybe for now get to know yourself or focus on something else
pocketto
Single for three years, though it's mostly my choice to stay single at that time. A lot of things going on in my life and I felt that I didn't have time to date. But I always felt lonely, especially when all my classmates and friends were married. Watching romance anime's would always get me to reflect on what I am missing out on as well. I tried the distraction approach that neet-one mentioned, but the stress from school made me feel alone and overwhelmed and I didn't know what to do. Eventually, I found some really good friends. They are all married, but they are all going through the same hell that is med school that I am going through and I was able to cope with my loneliness. They are all married and some even have children. I got involved with coaching their children's soccer team and I've never had so much fun and fulfillment in my life than teaching kids how to kick a ball in the correct direction. So Forgotten King is right, reach out to friends and find some activities to do that will help you gain confidence and feel like you mattered to someone. That is how I cope with being single. :) Though I do feel like I am second in everyone's life. But that is okay, at least I get to be part of their lives in a positive way.
holyfok
I guess Neet has the best answer just dont think about it, dont bother yourself to change though I've been single for a life time and for the reason the girl I'll pick will be the first and only one, stay yourself even if it take years you'll find the good one, I cant really give you tricks about it since I never really was interested in having someone in my life
darkschneider
The girls I meet that click with me want open relationships/FWBs instead of LTRs or immediately want marriage+kids after less than 6 months of dating. =( I stopped dating through my early 30s and went monk mode a couple years to focus on my career and self improvement and shed some bad habits I picked up as a youth. When I came back to the dating scene it was worse than when I left so I spend all that extra time and money on enjoying my life with my friends and most importantly enjoying myself as a person. I am happy without a partner but the right one will make me even happier I think.
timeenforceranubis
Single for 7 years, and the feeling of being everyone's second priority is real. Here's how I cope: Dating sims, romance anime, hug pillows, and anime figures. Kind of joking, but kind of serious. The essence is the same as others have said: Be busy, distract yourself, hang with friends, focus on career, hobbies, etc. My only problem is that if I get a second of downtime from all that, chances are loneliness will rear its head. Surrounding myself with cute anime girls softens the bite a bit.
neet_one
TE Anubis has the right idea.
jacob1
Oct 22, 15 at 11:27pm
Love your self first before anyone else. There are tons of avenges to being single. I mean you don't have to say sorry to someone all the time for being you, You don't have to go place you don't want to go. You can watch, read, play what you want. You don't have to spend money on another person. I mean there are so many story of bad relationship. My last relationship was bad. I happy being single. I have been single for almost a year now and I'm loving life. Just remember heartache passes with time and watch some anime and reading manga helps a ton.
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