The Process

This is the first draft. Opinions and critique appreciated. It is posted here because I want genuine feedback, so do not hold back. Thank you. In The Process There was a time when my life was not my occupation, Where sunrise, and sunset was no more a measurement of time than the stars in the sky. It was the background, the setting of the stage where we were acting out the thing we called love. A grand performance, refined to perfection through the rehearsal in our minds before we dare let it come to life on stage. It was pure, the actions were rehearsed, but the emotion was raw. We discovered quickly that while we could fake our confidence, we could not fake how we felt. With pride we wore our vulnerability, our hearts on our sleeves and their scars our rank. There was nothing that could harm us, “Together,” you said, “We will conquer it all.” So conquer we did, I had left my home for this foreign territory, Yet while I was beside you, everywhere was home. I decided that I wanted to provide you with that same haven, that comfort. But I didn't know how to cast the spell you had enchanted upon me, So I did what any man would do. I bought us a home, A castle where we could return after each conquest. The grand hall of which our ballads were sung, where each night was a night to remember, And where each tragedy would be met blow for blow with our will. The castle held, a testament to out devotion. It provided us shelter when a thief robbed us of our security, and it stood strong when a flood ruined over half of our worldly possessions. Just as you stood resolute, ever confident that nothing could ever tear us down. But just as a castle falls to siege, so to did our conquest. You were never a believer in love, it was just a word. A word that described an emotion you could not feel, a sensation you could not comprehend. It was as foreign to you as all of Michigan was to me. When I would say “I love you” it would be met with “I love you more.” There was no hesitation, the smile you wore was pure. Your eyes would shine with the adoration, and your cheeks were a beautiful shade of red. Eventually, “I love you,” was met with “Love you too.” Where was “I?” What happened to “More?” Had they been lost in our journey? Would they return? More time passed, “Love you too” became the new staple. Your eyes would still shine when you looked at me, but they were glazed. I knew that I had done something wrong, but where? Where had I made the mistake? I looked inside myself and still I felt the same passion, the same fire for you as when we first took the stage. So what had I done? You said my touch was like honey, It was thick and felt heavy. Where once I would have caused shivers, now it only gave you chills. I listened to your words as you spoke, remembering all of the times you asked I focus my attention on you, on us. Where you begged me to stop letting work and the tragedies we had endured consume me, so that we could move on and live again. I didn't know how. You were my first, my first kiss, my first partner, my first love. These were my first tragedies, my first hurdles, my first everything. I didn't know how to tell you, that I didn't know how to let go. But then, you taught me. Without me ever telling you I was confused, or that I didn't have a clue where to begin. You just...knew, and you helped me to communicate. I felt like I was on top of the world, that nothing could stop us. And then you left. One day I woke up, and you said you were leaving. All of our conversations, all of our progress we had made. It wasn't enough. I had not learned the right lesson, You had helped me become a better person, But you were still suffering from my unintended neglect. You had reached your limit, and you were gone. Our castle became a museum, a relic of days gone by. I stood in the hall where we once sang our ballads of victory, and I felt like a stranger, in the place I once called home. Time passed slowly, days crawled into weeks. Minutes felt like hours, and hours felt like days. Each moment without you here felt wrong, it felt as if I was betraying every fiber of my being by trying to accept this. But then, we were talking again. The play had resumed, we decided that our army needed a new conquest, It was a fragile alliance we forged, but it heralded a new chance, a new hope for us. “I am in the process of falling out of love with you.” You said this to me, despite the reality we faced each day. I looked into your eyes and each time a little more of that glaze was disappearing. You tell me you have too many scars, that you cannot allow me to ever be in a position where I can hurt you again. So to this I say to you.... We will conquer it all, Every challenge, each tragedy, and all of the dramas. None shall stand against our might for in our pain we are legion. I made you suffer from my neglect, so to shall I suffer from yours. Actions speak louder than words, so for each conquest... I shall dedicate it to you. That you may know that every day you give me is a treasure, and that every breath I take is spent earning the love you have for me. Why? “I am in the process of falling even more in love with you.”

Well, since Noone else offered any advice, I will lend mine. I love to read and write myself (although I don't have too much time for it now). I like it alot. It's got a good flow to it and some cool imagery and allegorical stuff. With that being said, there is room for improvement. There are times when the allegory switches back and forth between the play and real life that kind of distracts a little from the flow of it. That is the main issue I had with it. As long as you keep posting I will try to give some form of thoughts on it.