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So this happened...

willlair
For me it's really something hard to tell other people, since it's a very long story... it's about Karma I guess? So I was dating this girl, she's a pretty cool and cute one, we had been together for about 3 and a half years, I was able to afford a couple of trips to see her and everything, they were pretty nice although not very eventful, the reason why goes for another story. In the end I found myself breaking up with her because she was seeing other guy, it wasn't even physical... it was more one of those times when someone cheats emotionally on you... So there's a game rRO (Rebirth Ragnarok Online), some may know it, some may not. And if they do and end up knowing that person for whatever reason (world be 2 small yo), I'd advice discretion. It all happened when she "married" someone in-game, when I asked about it she was SURE nothing was going on with them, I guess I believed that... but when you're in a long-distance relationship you tend to take this kind of things rather seriously, since getting married in a game to someone is pretty much the closest it gets to real life, dunno... maybe I'm being stupid. So yeah, turns out she married him because their guild doesn't really take that stuff seriously and someone drunk was demanding people to get married, but that's aside of the point. Turns out that a couple of weeks later I had a real talk with her about this whole thing since seeing them together in-game was making me paranoid (that feeling is the worst x_x)... I ended up discovering some ugly truths, but I had to go all Ace Attorney and stuff on her, she eventually spit it out and told me she liked the guy, I then found out the other guy liked her too, and what's worse for me, they knew they liked each other... it was tough, especially since the way things were happening was sort of how we ended up being together, this time I was the boyfriend being dumped for another guy she supposedly met only recently. (Yaaaaaayyy... karmaaaa) It was awful, I didn’t know how to react or what to say… I just kept asking stuff about it until most was said… The next day I decide to just cut it off and say we were over, for a whole bunch of reasons, part of me wanted her to say “No! It didn’t really mean anything!”, part of me was hurt because of how I found out, another part of me was really self-conscious asking what I did wrong and the other part was mostly my ego telling to me I’m not to be second best and that I didn’t want to be with someone who wasn’t 100% with me as I was with her, which is what I ended up saying to her… I asked her to decide, and she took her time with the decision which was understandable, but every day was awful, I couldn’t think of how 3 and a half years were just going to waste and didn’t mean a thing. For me the answer was clear and pretty obvious… but we saw things differently. I felt pathetic… She ended up choosing me, but something felt wrong… as if it was something, I don’t know, kinda forced. It felt like it wasn’t really what she wanted but more what she felt she should want a week went on and we had another talk… Long story short (as if it wasn’t long already… sorry! >-<) she confessed to me that she actually wanted to try and see how things would go with the other guy… but she wanted us to “still be friends”. I feel like those are the three words most people dread… it’s really not possible, at least not right away… I told her I needed to cut her off my life if she wanted that to happen, I needed my time to heal and I felt like she was over it already, I did feel left behind… she agreed and so I did, pretty much every way I could see anything related to her was either blocked, uninstalled or cleared from my phone. Things are kinda better now, still haven’t talked to her at all. The problem now is that I don’t know what to do, she was a huge part of my life and now she’s gone… the worst part of it is that I was the one cutting her off, I’ve never been in a relationship for that much time and sometimes I think about how if she would’ve broken up with me I’d have a reason to “hate” her… because I guess that’s what normal people do. Just don’t know what to do, so why not sharing it to a bunch of people I don’t know? In the end people that don’t know you will see you for who you are, not for what they would like to think who you are. So yeah, that’s my story, sorry for the long post ^^;
kaneki_ken
Hey man i feel for you but when you feel like you have wasted three years of your life was it think of the fun you had with each other also if you dont mind me saying you should have cut off connection with her earlier when you first broke up but hey who am i to say this im just a guy on the internet but whatever good luck finding someone who will stick by you were here for you of you need a friend
cielle
Mar 14, 15 at 6:58pm
This is why online relationships are unstable :/ You don't know what you're truly getting yourself into. "getting married in a game to someone is pretty much the closest it gets to real life" Eeeeh, not really. One of my exes was married to someone in a game, but he did it for the benefits, and he wasn't attracted to her at all. (But she was a bit unattractive and my ex was pretty picky about looks).
willlair
@cielle Right? That's why it's hard to talk about it, when you see it from another point of view it really sounds ridiculous, even when the feelings are still there. And I guess you can do that in a game too, guess I didn't really have luck on this one @ken Yeah, that's what I like to think about, the good things. Guess I just said it wrong xD And I do think you're right about cutting it off from the begining, I guess I just couldn't bring myself to do so, first time something like this ever really happened to me so I was a big mess xD
bikko
Mar 14, 15 at 8:33pm
I don't understand how you can go from being online friends in a game to a serious relationship. I can believe in falling in love with their personality, but online it's just difficult to really get your personality across. I'm sorry, but I don't really see relationships like to be real relationships akin to bf/gf status at all. I don't think you lost too much
key17
Mar 14, 15 at 9:55pm
Trials and tribulations of ldrs. You'll start arguing over the smallest things, and eventually, sand makes mountains. This whole getting married in game is total paranoia on your part. Even if it did morph into something else, don't confuse gaming and real life. They are parallel. They do not cross. Ever. But truth be told, ldrs won't last unless you're way a firm and trustful partner. They won't work unless they're based on rock-solid trust, and seeing how fickle your gf seems to be, I'd say you're better off going your own way.
nikita_13
Ok, when she left her boyfriend (IRL or OL) to be your girlfriend, the next question should have been when is it your turn. And no, getting married online is nothing remotely similar to the real thing. As for what you do now? You move on. You realize that no matter how much you convinced yourself otherwise, it just wasn't real.
yaasshat
Mar 14, 15 at 11:32pm
A mix between what Bikko said and the end portion of what nikita said, thar be your answer. Emotions are a bitch, but realize that you can "feel" all you want, but if the actions ( reality ) don't fit, it was just a fake infatuation. People confuse "feelings " for love all the time.
willlair
Yeah makes sense, even if it was indeed official, managed to go see her a couple of times in person and met her family and all. The getting married in game being the closest it can get really is an overstatement and like Lock said should not be taken THAT seriously, I understand and it really is a good thing to be remembered about so thanks for that. The mention of the game was because it was a huge part of her life as she had been playing for nearly 7 years...ish? But yeah, details. You all have your share of truth in what you say though, that's for sure. Definitely what I was looking for XD So thanks for that
wallace614
Mar 15, 15 at 12:12am
What do you mean by "getting married in a game to someone is pretty much the closest it gets to real life
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