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Questions; Opinions

buji
Apr 21, 14 at 11:58pm
So I got these 2 questions and want people to give opinions and whatnot. These are both based off of personal experiences. And they kinda go together Scenario: Let's say you're a flirty person, that's just your personality. Well in my case it's more of a perverted flirt just to get people laughing and talking, and don't have any other intentions behind it. I do it with both guys and girls. So I meet a girl while being pervy with her and a group of people, laughing and having a good time, and we ended up dating after a while, so she knows that I'm "flirty" to begin with. After a few months she starts getting upset about me still being pervy with people, though since dating her I eased down on it and payed most attention to her and flirted with her the most. Since I was bad at talking to people "normally", I just played the pervy character, it was more or less my personality. So she wanted me to either stop talking to girls or stop flirting altogether. ------------ So question 1a: If you're dating someone who you KNOW is flirty BEFORE you've even dated, would you be ok with it or be upset? And if you get upset, is that your fault, or the perv's fault? Question 1b: If you have a flirty personality, is it wrong to stay that way while in a relationship? --- Question 2: If someone wanted you to change, would you? I mean, they fell for you for who you are, yet they don't like who you are anymore. It's like someone dating you because you're super nice to people, yet later on, they hate that you're nice to people --- Like yeah, I know being flirty while in a relationship is wrong, but what I'm getting at is: 1. She KNEW I was like that beforehand 2. It was only to get people laughing and talking, no further intentions 3. She wanted to change what she fell for I'm not really good at explaining things but hopefully you understand what I'm trying to say. Minus the flirting thing (even though it was mostly with her) I never did anything really wrong (in my opinion) to her. I treated her like a princess, made her happy as often as I could, fixed any problem there was, avoided arguments, noticed little changes about her, went to her side whenever she needed me, etc
missallyesterday
Wow this one is a doozy! Okay. A: 1A I would probably assume you were only trying to be flirty with ME as your romantic interest. A: 1B A little flirting here and there is fine, but if your partner feels you are doing it way too much or taking it too far, you should respect their feelings and try to not flirt as often. A: 2A It depends on what they want me to change. Like if he said, "You need to have pink hair and be skinnier and dress more kawaii." I'd tell him, "You know what? I hope you're kidding, because the answer is no." There are things that when you go into a relationship you need to expect, and there are also things that when you're going into a relationship that you need to accept from the other person. It's give and take. There needs to be mutual trust and understanding. 2B It's not the same, though, because she may be aware that you were flirty, but go back to Answer 1s... R1: I'm sure she knew you were a flirty guy, but thought that you were interested in only flirting with her. R2: It's not as easy as turning that off about you, but maybe try a different approach, it may not be comfortable to start, but if you can try that, maybe it will help. R3: She fell for you. The flirting may have caught her eye though. I can tell you from experience she's not as terrible as I used to be. I had a nerdy dude, and I wasn't too bad off financially, so I tried making him dress and do his hair differently. It wasn't him, he was happy with his stupid nerd shirts... it was kind of selfish of me, and things didn't work out because of it. It can still work out if you tell the person how you feel and try to meet in the middle about things. But, communication is very important. Explain your side, so she understands.
buji
Apr 22, 14 at 12:24am
Yeah, after she told me she wasn't happy with the flirting thing I calmed down on it a lot, but made it a bit awkward of how I actually talked to people
mokujin
Apr 22, 14 at 1:36am
If I dated someone who was flirty before I met them, I would be somewhat ok as long it doesn't lead to something... "painful". If someone wanted me to change, I'd be a bit upset. I might change a bit to make the person happy but might not.
yudodat
Apr 22, 14 at 1:56am
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