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Single Otaku - Tell me why?

andrue
Hi, So as an anime fan for my whole life, I have always wondered what sets otaku apart in terms of psychosocial relations. I consider myself to be deeply into anime, and much of my life revolves around collecting Anime tapes, untranslated manga, gundam model kits, and various other related media. I consider myself to be an outsider. I don't like a lot of people, but I am generally friendly. I do everything I can to help others, and I consider myself to be a good person. But as someone who grew up with anime, I also faced a lot of the challenges that come with it. I have been picked on, outcasted, and generally made to feel stupid about my interests and passions. This led me to do cool stuff with my life, such as going to college, playing music, doing public speaking, writing and publishing a book, touring the country multiple times, and currently, I run a record label and screen print shirts that heavily feature anime and manga references. I thought that my path would take me down a much lonelier route, and that I would eventually become the epitome of loner otaku, spending days pouring over shows, manga, and building model kits. The cool part is, I have a beautiful girlfriend who loves me and respects my interests despite her not being so into that stuff, I have a great group of friends, many of whom don't care for anime, but respect my passion very much and always support the things I do, and I have more VHS tapes, DVDs, Graphic Novels, Toys and Model kits than God, and my entire being essentially has been molded by my interests. My question to you, is why you think that otaku become lonely, outcasted, and eventually lose hope on love, life, and everything else. I am a psychologist, and I do therapy and counseling, as well as workshops with high school aged kids about making good decisions with their lives. I have always taken the silent otaku into account during my experiences, and I am still curious as to a general "why?" Why do many of us feel left out on life, why can't anyone seem to find a good match or partner, why does life seem so cruel? Thanks for your input, it means a lot to me.
yudodat
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buji
Apr 14, 14 at 10:49pm
Since all I have is anime and games on my mind usually, I'm kinda socially awkward to talk to. Not to mention I'm extremely shy. I do however, do as much as I can to help others and stuff, like you said yourself. I'm a good person, I just don't like talking vocally
naucome
Apr 14, 14 at 11:46pm
im single because i live in a very remote area that is widely inhabited by red-necks that have southern pride signs and couches on their front lawns so its slim pickings, i believe if a real relationship is meant to happen it will happen
milkeyedmender
I believe most "quiet otaku" stereotypes find interest in anime as a result of already being socially ostracized for some (usually superficial) reason because more time spent alone will result in more time to develop personal interests that may differ from more common place ones. The same usually applies to members of other "nerdy" groups. I personally think this is both a blessing and a curse as it does allow for an individual to develop unique interests and learn to apply them creatively, but also can discourage further social advancement.
buji
Apr 15, 14 at 12:02am
Lol Kono, that sounds terrible.
metaljester
Apr 15, 14 at 12:19am
@milkey I agree myself actually although it depends on a person by person basis.
milkeyedmender
@metaljester I would agree of course that everyone's shyness is unique, but moreover I still don't think having an interest in anime would be a direct cause of social anxiety-like behaviors.
buji
Apr 15, 14 at 12:39am
@Milk - well I find it hard to talk to people since I don't know what to talk to them about unless it's anime. I'm also just shy in general, always have been, even around most friends. So I think that may be one of the main reasons, just like, "what should I talk to them about? Anime? Games? Manga? Politics? How about anime? No no no, ah! I got it!" ""So do you like anime?"" ""No, not really"" ""ok..."" *walks away*
milkeyedmender
@Buji Yeah anime is definitely more of an interest group kind of thing. I've always found it easier to drop subtle hints at my interests to see what people will pick up on and what they won't as a means of indirectly comparing interests. For instance, today I was talking to a girl and briefly quoted a line from the novel Infinite Jest, which she picked up on and this lead to a longer conversation about the book, other literature, etc.
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