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Dating someone with a child/children

xusagix
How do you feel dating someone with a child or children? I ask this because I am a mother (of one) myself and wanted to know others views. To answer ahead of time, yes, my son is an otaku ^_^
jikokun
My ex had two kids, now 13 & 15, and both were special needs. Her son has aspurgers, Her daughter scitzoeffective. Honestly, I loved it. We felt like a family, the only problem was that we argued a lot. I miss the kids, but it was something that had to be done. So to answer your question, I have the experience, so yes I am ok with it.
jikokun
Also, I been with her for 5 years, but known her and the kids for 10.
saita
Mar 04, 14 at 2:33pm
I've also been in a relationship with someone who was a single mother. We were only together for 9 months and her daughter 4 at the time. It was different, but in a good way, and i'd do it again. That being said, it doesn't matter to me whether someone is a parent or not.
chicgeek23
Personally, I wouldn't want to be with anyone with a child. It puts a lot of pressure of having to try to not only one person like you, but the kid as well. Not to mention, I feel as if it would cause drama with the other biological parent of the kid. They might be one of those crazy people who may not someone going around their child. I honestly don't want kids anyways. Also I think its harder and unfair for the kid to grow attached to whomever your dating (If the child does like them) because if things don't work out, the child is feeling left sad because they don't get to see them any longer. So I'd rather not deal with that and just date someone who isn't a parent. I know some people don't mind, but from my view, that is kind of a dealbreaker.
jikokun
Everybody has their own opinions on the matter, but honestly, I don't feel like you can't give somebody a chance just because they have a child, that's not very fair.
animeboy
That's just our preference is all. No need to get defensive about it.
jikokun
I'm not. Did you even read my post, or just the last line? e.e
rainx
To me, it comes down to commitment. Someone who already has children means the bulk of their time and energy is going to be spent on that child versus having more free time to build a relationship with someone who has no kids. About 5 years ago I dated a girl who had an 18 month old daughter at the time and we barely had anytime to spend together because if she wasn't working, she was at home taking care of her kid. The father was barely around to help out to boot and really only had a financial commitment in his daughters life. I literally spent 80% of my time with her at her house because she could rarely find a babysitter so we were stuck at home watching her daughter. She was very nice, but the lack of any sort of dating life really soured me on the whole relationship after a few months so we kinda just mutually ended it. Different points and commitments in our lives. That's why I usually sway away from women with kids. Its not that they aren't nice people, but if I'm going to invest my free time in getting to know someone, I'm going to want them to have the free time to commit building a relationship with me. If that seems a bit selfish on my part, I apologize, but I know I'm not the only guy who feels this way. Maybe a lot of guys have few or no problems with it, but for me personally, I'm at a point in my life where I don't want that sort of commitment with a potential significant other.
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