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How to deal with bigoted evangelical parent

lordragna37
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xiao_hu
> What horrible things have they said? And here comes some defense of racism, homophobia, transphobia or pedophilia as soon as OP responds.
xynox
Gudmoore, I would've written a wall of text but you already said everything there is to say. Good read.
no44prometheus
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no44prometheus
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xiao_hu
OblivionReaper I don't have any personal advice for you but you seem to be on the right track.
xiao_hu
I'm more than a little apalled at some of the responses here. Parents can be deadbeats who don't care about you beyond you being the golden goose that carries them through their miserable lives. I've not had to live through that, but I have a friend who did. She is transgender, mtf, she grew up with parents who exploited her for child labor, her step mother didn't give a shit about her. They clothed her and gave her a roof over her head but didn't let her be herself, kept her financially impoverished until she ran away, and they still tried to track her down. She now suffers from severe self esteem issues, clinical depression, suicidal thoughts and she cuts herself. Saying emotional abuse doesn't exist is wrong. Gudmoore you and everyone else who commented should know better because OblivionsReaper clearly feels abused and hated, and his parents are probably narcissists.
gudmoore
Yet Reaper, this obviously isn't a case of that. This is a snowflake getting offended. Go through and read the thread, he hasn't told his mother a damn thing. Hasn't even tried to talk to her about his situation, he's admitted that much. Everything she's said has been aimed at a third party, not him directly. He hasn't even given her the chance to become more accepting. Instead he hops on an internet forum and bad mouths the hell out of his family. He is literally outright furious over not being able to accept his parents views, that is bigotry at its best. It's disgusting and of course I will call it out, I thought you had more integrity than that Reaper. I might be on your side if he had actually tried to connect to his mother instead of instantly going feral over her opinions. But, he didn't. He never even tried.
xiao_hu
>I might be on your side if he had actually tried to connect to his mother instead of instantly going feral over her opinions. But, he didn't. He never even tried. Thats not our choice to criticise him or tell him with regards to morality. He's a grown adult. If he wants to cut ties with his parents, he can do that, and I can't say I blame him. I don't feel strongly about family so I have a much different view. If my family tried pulling shit like that at me, I'd walk out on them, and they know that. They know if they want to keep me around they have to respect me.
xueli
I think, honestly, that all of this debating on how we think he should/should not react to his parents thing is irrelevant. I'm not completely unsympathetic because I've also known people to have been in bad familial situations, but they've all had to make the ultimate choice between enduring it or leaving. Sometimes leaving with absolutely nothing and still making it work. Which really is the main point. And that's ultimately what Oblivions is gonna have to do because we, the internet, can't really help him with that because I honestly don't believe anything anyone has said is something that he hasn't considered himself before. Personally it doesn't seem like Oblivion is at that point where he can no longer tolerate his current situation and leave. I mean, I'm sure he hates living there but I don't think he hates it enough to really do anything much about it. if I haven't missed anything please correct me if I did, the reasons that he's stated that he can't move out is because it's expensive and he has poor money management skills. Money management skills is hard but not because it's hard to learn rather it's hard to do if you lack discipline. But I'd think that could be overcome especially if you have adequate enough incentive like being in an unbearable living situation. Just depends on how much you want it, you know? Or save up and invest in learning a trade, getting licensed, move up where you're at, or go to school so that you can get better wages. It's hard work no matter what, to be sure, but how much do you want to leave? :/ Also, see if there's anyone on craigslist looking for roommates. That's something I've had a lot of success with but I suppose it depends on how thriving the renter's market is in your area. Someone also said military, which is a route. But in the end, no amount of sympathy will help get you anywhere. You gotta really think about how much do you not want to stay in your current situation and how much work would you put into changing it and then stick to whatever decision you make. Good luck with whichever decision!
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