Suicide

Personally I try not think badly about those who commit suicide without involving anyone else. Overdose, hanging themselves and such.. but somebody who jumps in front of a train/car/bus, jumps of a high building/place in a crowded area or blows themselves up and drags others along... They disgust me. I have zero respect and definitely no grief for them. The people I would shed tears for after their "leave" are the drivers of said vehicles, the witnesses and the innocent who they ripped out of ife along with themselves. If you decide that suicide is the only way out I suggest thinking about your family. Those who care about you and after your suicide would be deeply disturbed or even traumatized. Is it really worth it? And for those who say "nobody cares about me", think harder. That viewpoint is probably part of a depression and not actually true. Get help. But don't kill yourself. The world has so much to offer and hard times pass. If you don't know grief you don't know happiness. So is life. Everyone goes through hard times but it's up to you to let them strenghten you or actually let them kill you. Dying might be the easy way out but that's it. It has nothing else to offer. Life on the other hand offers a whole world to explore. I can't imagine that somebody terminally ill will want to die straight away. That makes their already limited time so much more limited. People who are crippled by an illness, pain or age so far that their situation can hardly be considered "living" though.. that's the only situation I could understand a death wish and actually sympathize. And even in such situations some people still pick fighting. Needless to say I never had a suicide wish.. otherwise it would be easier for me to sympathize I guess.

my friends brother killed himself, i miss him.

Suicide is one of those touchy subjects since it can occur for different reasons and effect people in different ways with similar results. I've gotten depressed before on several occasions but never tried ending it all. Always try to remember that there is always someone out there who cares that your alive, even if it's for the tiniest reasons, and there are others you can always go to for help when you need it most.

My episode happened after a series of very tragic and unfortunate events while I was in high school. I felt like I couldn't get it together and nothing was going right, and when you're only a teenager you want to do things for yourself, but a lot of decisions are still not up to you for the most part. (10 years ago.) I don't want to go into it too much, but had I not passed out and let go of what I was using, you all wouldn't be reading this now. I was very deliberate, planned, and almost well thought out. Having merely woken up with a pounding headache and feeling like crap made me re-evaluate my situation and seek help, but my depression hasn't gone away, and I doubt it ever will.

I use to be really biased on the subject and even though myself has attempted when i was depressed having lived a life of abuse and poverty, After i pulled myself out of it, i became sorta prejudice towards people whom did it because i thought people we're just being weak like me and doing it to themselves, i now realize that it's stems from a sense of hopelessness and of a romantic desire of death in a sense; almost like a quick release from everything that troubles a person, but specifically everybody has their own reasons and why they wanna do it, The only similarities is that those thoughts and feelings of suicide are a derivative of things building up over time; i mean nobody suddenly wakes up and says they wanna die literally, it accumulates over time. For me personally, i was selfish on my first attempt; and never thought of my Friends, Family and etc. although i wouldn't nowadays call somebody selfish for doing it nowadays since everyone has their own genuine reasons -- but i'm getting off-track as usual, I dealt with a life of Physical and mental abuse, also i struggled since having been molested as child and nearly raped. later on it led to a young life of Drug abuse and fighting a whole lot, i remember just feeling helpless at times, that i wasn't going to go anywhere in life. But soon-after my first attempt i joined a military program for youth and i was qualified for the Reserves after, but that didn't keep me out of the old lifestyle i was brought up in for long, i began fighting and drinking more often it seemed, the only really difference was that i was less aggressive, more reserved, respectful and more controlling of my emotions. It helped me, but it didn't give me any closure for the things i went through growing up; and so i began hating people whom we're weak to quit like that, to leave loved ones like that and etc. it wasn't until my best-friend killed himself with his Police Father's handgun that i became more understanding of the subject and sought to help others just like me, after that i helped 3-4 people get away from suicide, i listened and motivated, Finding and giving purpose can be powerful things, But a few years later in january of 2015; a girl whom was interested in me took her own life -- she was my very good friend, and well it sucks really. I lost two people whom i really cared about and loved greatly, i've become very sympathetic to people whom are going through depression and having those thoughts and etc. Although that depends on the person entirely for me. All i can really say is that everything you are going to experience in life is going to be hard and it has to be hard, We only really grow through a certain level of conflict and struggle, Nobody is born great overnight. and pain is temporary, time can heal most wounds. Realistically the thing people have to do is find a reason to keep living, even if it's for a job you always wanted or a loved one you cherish, hell it can be anything. You just have to find a reason and act on it. Honestly i believe that the universe is beautiful because it gives us these hardships and Life is not life without a little struggle or conflict of any sort. "All pain is temporary, Dank memes are forever" ^^ But perpetually you can't really stop there, You have to exist for improvement and you also have to exist to help others; whether it be by making them laugh or by giving them a hand. You have to contribute to the betterment on humanity. You have to live to help people too, regardless of how you see the world. I'd say more but i'm lazy and don't wanna blabber all night.

I have considerd it for a long time in the past and actually did self harm. However, this time I feel better but do have those thoughts yet I always find a way to get my shit together. Pretty much all I can say is that at this point, you're the only one who can stop or continue your life. I actually called those hotlines and it didn't work for me. I just kinda got myself out of depression a bit by looking at my accomplishments in life no matter how small they were.

I wouldn't say I've ever technically attempted suicide, but I did get a bit wild on my motorcycle when I was dealing with some serious depression. This was mainly riding like a maniac on back roads that had literally almost no traffic and residence though, at worst I would have probably went slamming into a tree alone.