Is it wrong to be upset if your partner refuses to do things with you that they've done with their exes?

I'd honestly encourage them to do things that remind them of their ex. Because if they do those things without their ex eventually the link between ex and activity will fade. It probably won't be comfortable for them at first but this is the point where I'd be a bit mean and stress test them. Like I have to rehab people onto songs they use to like but now can't stand because "mY eX LIkeS iT!" . Grow up its just a song and I'm not gonna not change it just because you hate someone I don't know.

I was never one to talk about what I did with ex's. I mean, I'm not with them for a reason, no matter what we did or didn't do. There are things done with the new that weren't done with the old and vice versa. Big deal. The problems arise when comparing. It's like this, why would I want to know what you did or where you went with an ex? This question is one of insecurity. At this point you're not so much concerned with the "what" so much as with "who". This question is to say "Would you be offended IF you knew about things done with an ex and not so much the things in question?". Your asking if it would offend me if I knew my S/O did things with other men that she will not do with me. Why should it, unless I'm concerned that I'm cared for less by contrast?

I think it would depend on what it was and the context of why they would or wouldn't want to do it with me? If we're talking something from a sexual or intimate stand point where they had a bad experience in the past, then I could understand. Sex is an important part of any relationship and being just open and honest about it is key for couples to keep the fire going long term.

Well....ya said it before me @yaasshat But ye....everything about the exes should stay where the ex went. It's fine if you wanna do whatever you did with your previous partners. Just for the love of homemade baked glazed ham....don't ever mention that "they did this and you don't". Especially when your partner's a guy.... Our natural ego can't take this shit. Just use subtle pokes to get what you want, we'll probably agree to it. Just don't ever mention exes. That's like an instant setting fire to your own house trust me.

Honestly some people just dont like doing stuff they did with past lovers. There is also the case of you not wanting to do things the previous partner did with them. Tho i feel its something that needs to be communicated. Because if ur thing is idk kissing in public but ir partner doesnt want to do that. You might need to compromise with them. Honestly as long as they can get most of my kinks/things i want then im good

To me, it would make sense for them to not want to do certain things with me that they did with their ex(es). Communication is key and talking about these things with them and understanding exactly what about the actions makes them not want to do them is important. A relationship is a two-way street that requires cooperation and understanding on both sides. At the beginning of exploring this topic, one might consider purely talking about it and slowly move towards encouraging the other if - they are comfortable - to try out these actions again. Like I said earlier, a two-way street that requires communication. The situation is unique for everyone.

It is wrong to be upset. Don’t pressure someone into doing something they don’t want to. They could’ve had a different kind of relationship with their ex, or they didn’t enjoy it, maybe they just felt uncomfortable with it, but there’s no reason to be upset. No matter the reason, it shouldn’t be upsetting to anyone. If they’re uncomfortable doing anything, then that’s their choice and you can’t force them into doing it.

@Interestng-ish, I would say being bothered by something and making that feeling someone else's problem are two different things. If for example a girl is dating a guy whose not as affectionate as she'd like him to be only to discover that with his last gfs he seemed more attentive, emotionally aware, romantic and such then it isn't wrong for her to feel bothered by it(my opinion anyway). And certainly not to explore why it's different with her. Now, browbeating him or her trying to make him feel bad about it would be wrong. And if your partner is uncomfortable doing something, then there are times that it's okay to talk about. Hell, you might even help them feel better after addressing it. I want to be clear. By being upset I do not mean becoming belligerent, angry, and trying to force someone to do or act in a way they don't feel comfortable with.