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Dealbreakers

wanderer93
Nov 07, 18 at 10:26pm
Drugs, smoking, someone thinking their God's gift on earth.
leo_ss
Nov 08, 18 at 5:18am
Laughing, There can definitely be switches, I'm not saying that there aren't. I was just saying Wanting to be dominated is the definition of submissive behavior XD, That's all. Wanderer, Seems pretty reasonable.
cac
CAC @cac commented on Dealbreakers
Nov 08, 18 at 7:46am
Smoking, I used to be ok with this but after my ex who smoked, I'm tired of it. Drugs Being super religious. Being 2D. Being just submissive, I want a more Dom girl. Not being possessive, like if your not showing that I'm yours I feel like you don't care. I'm not sure how to explain it right. I'm sure there are more.
leo_ss
Nov 08, 18 at 8:13am
CAC, Oh what about smoking were you okay with until you were with someone, and what caused your dislike about towards? Can agree mostly on drugs, Personally though as long they aren't addicted doing it constantly not really an issue for me. Fair enough. Hey now, no need for such bigotry, 2D girls need love too! Fair enough. I used to like possessiveness myself, but when I had an ex who got pissed off at me for spending time with family/friends, The novelty of it was lost to me. It could be insecurity to be fair, since you don't why. Feel free to add them if you remember.
vezax
. @vezax commented on Dealbreakers
Nov 08, 18 at 8:15am
@leo i am sorry, submissive women in general wasnt what i meant which caused the confusion.. i corrected my deal breaker to baka's statement :3
cac
CAC @cac commented on Dealbreakers
Nov 08, 18 at 8:51am
I was ok with it because I grew up with it, just about everyone in my family smokes. I tried it but never got addicted to it. But after I moved out from home and got used to not having the smell and stuff, going back sucks. Plus just how much it costs now, I hated her wasting the money.
chocopyro
Nov 08, 18 at 11:49am
Too submissive or too dominant: Both sound annoying. Just give me a girl with a confident level of self worth who doesn't care about the power dynamic. I certainly don't, and I hate being expected to inflexibly fill a role. There are some areas where I'm confident in, and thus tend to take charge. And there are areas that I tend to be weak in, where I would prefer others to take charge. It's not hard to work with others and figure out how to coexist. But I'm simply not compatible for an archaic spectrum like that, as are a lot of people. Too negative: Gawd, that takes its toll. While I can do my part to help people feel comfortable and safe around me, and have done a lot of emotional healing in my time (Both internally, and with friends who needed it), I don't want to be doing it every minute of every day. Regardless of how well I vibe with people, someone who hates everyone, everything, and most especially themselves? I perceive that as a lack of strength. Like its fine to hate yourself from time to time, its fine to go through depression, anxiety, or all the other 21st century problems our society was never taught how to manage correctly. But to truly manage it, you have to be willing to walk with me, rather than letting me carry you. I'm a shoulder to lean on when you need one, not a permanent crutch. Hates Animals/Nature: If I can't trust someone to be nice with doggos, cats, and tuataras, I don't want them raising my future children. Flat Earther/Climate-change denier: The evidence is right in front of us. I don't wanna date a chaos wizard who makes it all up as they go along. An objective grasp of reality is always handy to have, even if you are a creative individual. High Conflict Personalities: Harmony is very important to me. I don't do well with people who frequently try to sabotage it, either consciously or not. Narcissistic/Sociopathic/Machiavellian: These traits. Just no. There's enough of that in one side of my family for me. I've gotten better at identifying the red flags over the years. They're hard to hide if you know what to look for. Doesn't believe in ghosts: Weird, huh? I can't explain this one very well, other than the fact that I kinda live in that world, and feel limited with people who aren't at least open to the possibility. Too Dogmatic in belief: I just don't do extremes. Especially in world views. This goes both ways of course. Too religious, too atheistic, both are annoying. Moderately religions-moderately atheistic, perfectly fine. Not a nerd: I've tried.
leo_ss
Nov 08, 18 at 12:18pm
Chocopyro, That's very fair, I'd have to agree even to some extent, That if someone was too submissive that they weren't even their own person for instance, I wouldn't be handle it. And I already dislike overly dominate women just due to my upbringing(Way to many stubborn ones in my family.). Balance is always important in my mind, But some people are into that thing, so I can't argue what makes them happy. That said, being overly dominate or submissive doesn't mean they can't work with or coexist well with others, It just means they'll work differently with you....Hopefully. Amen to that brother. One of the biggest lessons I needed to learn about dating is that you can't save people from themselves, they need to learn how to be happy by themselves, and nothing you can do about it will change it. They will sap all your energy and joy from you like a depression sponge. It's just not a pleasant experience. Life may not be easy, and we all need time to mourn, or prepare ourselves, but sooner or later you have to put on your big boy pants and deal with your problems instead of whining about them. Agreed. If someone will want to butcher my cat for having to clean up after them at times, I fear for our child's safety if they destroy something important XD. Hell yes, My life is a stress free zone, keep that drama Outta here. Machiavellian, Huh, first time I heard that one. Adding to vocabulary. But also agree. I don't know if that'd be a dealbreaker for me. I mean I get how unbelievable it is for some people. I personally believe in them, Lived next to a very lively graveyard for years if you get what I mean. It's impossible for me not to believe in them because of what I've seen. But unless you go through with it, I can understand the reason for not believing. Extremists are always a mood killer, if you aren't willing to talk about it, than it's just close minded bs that I can't deal with. Really? I've honestly never had the pleasure to date a non-nerd, Why is it a dealbreaker? XD.
chocopyro
Nov 08, 18 at 1:42pm
@Leo: Well, besides just having a love for nerdy girls? First of all, I am kinda lumping nerds and geeks into the same category, because from my experience, they kinda think the same way. Dating a non-nerd is like dating someone who has lost touch with their inner child. That's an oversimplification of course, plenty of non-nerdy people can have that childish glint in their eyes. In a lot of ways though, I feel like nerds are a little more honest about themselves and what they're passionate about. And that's one way I relate to people. By learning exploring or sharing their passions, it helps me to see how they view the world. Now since I'm a nerd myself, it helps when there's something there in that passion that makes me WANT to learn more about it. Not always the case. I recently chatted with a girl in the bar about knitting for a few hours, and I have absolutely no interest in it, but sometimes its just down to the way they convey information. With nerds though, I know how to let them feel like they could let down their guard around me. Because I know how to convey that I won't judge them. Why? I know what its like to be upfront about the things you like (Anime) and get judged for it. Non-nerdy girls? They're generally more suspicious towards me, and I kinda feel like they have a lot less experience in sharing some of the things that make them more self conscious. Again, a generalization, but I digress, that's just been my general experience in interacting with hundreds of people per year. Likewise, I like a girl who I can include in my interests. Willingly. A girl who likes to play HVZ? Awesome! We can survive the zombie apocalypse together! A girl who attends anime cons, and is willing to quest with me as I fill out a quest journal dressed as a D&D adventurer? Can't picture a normal girl wanting to be there. A girl who will nerd out with me at the renfest? Hell yes! A girl who will sit on the couch and watch anime and obscure zombie films with me when I just want a chill night, but not alone? Who doesn't want that? A girl who can get me into new scenes? I've dated someone who was into civil war reenactment once. Really fun experience! On the other side of the fence, a girl who just wants to go to dance clubs, or other loud places like bars where introverts like me just cant build deep conversation in. I get no enjoyment out of that. Don't get me wrong, I love a girl I can go hiking with. (All those beautiful trails around where I live, I love showing them off to people.) Nerdy girls just have a little more substance in the areas that matter to me. And generally, I know what they want, so its easier to be the version of me who I need to be in a relationship to make it work.
leo_ss
Nov 08, 18 at 1:55pm
Well to be Fair Chocopyro, There's plenty of inbetween personalities from the DnD RPG loving, and the dance party, bar jumping ones. Hell most girls I know like Zombies just due to TWD. Also have you seen a normal girl talk about Disney? There is nothing more childish with glee I have ever seen let me tell you. That said, I get what you're saying, I've mostly dated nerdy girls because we have the most in common as well, and with other kinds it just hasn't happened, nor am I actively trying for one XD. But yeah, I understand, Wanting to date people with similar interests is usually the best route to go.
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