Bad advice

In the event of a bear attack, appeal to the bear by commenting that you agree goldilocks was a horrible human for what she did to bear kind. Especially the invasion of privacy by exposing the fact that momma and papa bear were sleeping in separate beds.

Uber charged me 35 bucks for 10 dollars of cold food. Uber delivery driver was lowkey cute though. Tanks fo da chicken nuggies!

Always tell the person who covers your rent that you don't care about them. Follow that up by demanding an allowance even though you're an adult with the ability to work. For good measure, burn your cigarette butts on that person's porch railing in front of them and say the birds did it.

Do not buy bitcoin and do not send it to me https://i.pinimg.com/originals/fe/8c/86/fe8c86c4c1c6208b677307d3f83ac498.jpg

While supporting a friend at a funeral for their lost love one, remind them that crying and being sad is for babies. They will appreciate what you're doing and stop being sad.