Anyone looking to collaborate with me?

ok, so i cant copy and paste so ill try and have to tell you here and try to pinpoint scenes so are you sure you want to use brackets for the monologue? does the site like you bold, underline, ect? i think that would be more attention grabbing, but thats just my opinion

alright i can see your going from an rp stance why is that? you can write out action scenes and dialogue without asterisks again, if this is your preference then its no problem, just traditionally you wouldnt see a story written this way but shit, you can always break traditions and do your own thing :P

the opening line was really funny xD got a good laugh out of me, so nice start its a great hook unique you said a hippo was firing the shots, but the husband was a rooster? maybe Gun shots echoed through the quiet neighborhood. From inside the small brick house, the male Hippopotamus, clad in equal amounts fat as muscle, fired buck-shots at the black feathered duck that was in bed with his wife. The duck danced around the room, dodging the bullets that followed him. "Calm down honey, it's not what it looks like!" The large bosom chicken screeched. "Calm down Heifer, I didn't even finish!" The duck brazenly remarked, a playfulness in his tone. The rooster's sneer grew larger. "You'll be finished when i mount your head on my wall!" With a running start from across the room, the duck leaped through the window the dialogue is good, but i dont think the wife would defend herself by saying they were "playing", but by denying anything serious happened to begin with what does he roll down and how is he hitting his crotch on trees? you mean the branches? then hes not rolling down anything but falling, ya know?

With the rolling down part I did that because I was thinking of him rolling down the hill like a wheel kind of like the scene in Kung poo where the baby was rolling down a hill then sent down another Hill.

And if you have any ideas for the scene or the other scenes that come up in the story I wouldn't mind listening to them.

i couldnt really picture it when i read it, maybe when he jumps from the window he lands in a rose bush outside the house and he gets thorned up and hes comically picking thorns out of his ass still when the scene changes

didnt read all the way through xD anyway you could copy and paste it into the threads, because i cant copy and paste from the site