Little Birdy

"Because I Got High" Afroman I was gonna clean my room until I got high I gonna get up and find the broom but then I got high My room is still messed up and I know why 'Cause I got high I was gonna go to class before I got high I coulda cheated and I coulda passed but I got high I am taking it next semester and I know why 'Cause I got high Because I got high Because I got high I was gonna go to work but then I got high I just got a new promotion but I got high Now I'm selling dope and I know why 'Cause I got high Because I got high Because I got high I was gonna go to court before I got high I was gonna pay my child support but then I got high They took my whole paycheck and I know why 'Cause I got high Because I got high Because I got high I wasn't gonna run from the cops but I was high I was gonna pull right over and stop but I was high Now I am a paraplegic, and I know why, 'cause I got high Because I got high Because I got high I was gonna pay my car note until I got high I wasn't gonna gamble on the boat but then I got high Now the tow truck is pulling away and I know why 'Cause I got high Because I got high Because I got high I was gonna make love to you but then I got high I was gonna eat yo pussy too but then I got high Now I'm jacking off and I know why 'Cause I got high Because I got high Because I got high I messed up my entire life because I got high I lost my kids and wife because I got high Now I'm sleeping on the sidewalk and I know why 'Cause I got high Because I got high Because I got high I'm gonna stop singing this song because I'm high I'm singing this whole thing wrong because I'm high And if I don't sell one copy I know why 'Cause I'm high Because I'm high Because I'm high

Key & Peele "Pirate Chantey" I once met a lass so fine, She was drunk on barley wine I'd been to sea for months of three I knew I could make her mine But the lass was past consent So it was off with her we went And we threw her in bed and rested her head And we left, 'cause that's what gentlemen do. A woman has a right to a drink or two Without worrying about what you will do We say "yo, ho!" but we don't say "hoe" 'Cause "hoe" is disrespectful, yo There once was a girl from Leeds Who I heard was good on her knees So I docked my ship for an overnight trip To take care of all of my deeds She had piles of tales to tell And my mass began to swell So I riled her down and raised her down And performed cunnilingus for an hour or so Always take care of your lady fair 'Cause they deserve as much attention down there We say "yo, ho!" but we don't say "hoe" 'Cause "hoe" is disrespectful, yo I once had a woman so fair Whose womb contained my heir With a son by my side, the seas we'd ride The child she would bear But my girl, she was no fool She was working her way through school So I did support when she chose to abort Because it's her body and therefore her choice No, we don't say "booty" 'less we're talking about gold We don't look at chests 'less it's treasure holds With a hat and a feather and a cutlass on her hip We will never say "she" when we're talking 'bout a ship We don't say "bitch" and we don't say "whore" 'Cause that language leads to things like body dysmorphoria There was a lady with a golden eye And the doctor said she would die So she emptied her purse to lift the curse And prayed to stay alive She awoke the very next day Hand in her grave she lay But the scariest part of the story from the start Is I bet you assume the doctor was a man Women are doctors too And for a fraction of the dubloons We say "yo, ho!" but we don't say "hoe" 'Cause "hoe" is disrespectful, yo There was a slut with tits to here And an ass that-- 'Cause it's "yo, ho!" but we don't say "hoe" 'Cause "hoe" is disrespectful, yo!