I think it very unhealthy for you to be in that sort of relationship. Keep your head up bro
^ Thanks, man.
I think you're right. Looking back, that relationship was kind of unhealthy. I was still in high school at the time, so I didn't realize it back then.
@yaasshat I think you missed a few of my requirements.
Regardless, love already is an obsession. The details of that obsession are different for everyone. It's fine just as long as everyone is living healthily.
In a relationship the proposed ideal is already that each person considers their own selves as #1. The person they love should already be in the #2 spot at most. The reverse is plainly unhealthy, it would go against basic survival instincts, and it leads to abuse. The classic marriage vow is "till death do us part", and yet we put in place multiple ways to get out of even that, the number one simply being they just changed their mind.
The first thing that should be done in any non-volatile issue is communication. It might not work, and yet it might, and further still one or both of you may not be communicating in the right way. Communicating isn't always going to be the answer, and so a split is effective after that attempt. In my experience the #1 thing that people get wrong is how they interpret what someone else feels, so an attempt at communication from a place of understanding helps to mitigate this error in humanity.
I don't particularly see at-home hobbies as direct competition to me. Hiking, parties, or other things that I don't share in interests that take the person away from me for the majority of the time would bother me. Everyone has needs, and one of those in a relationship is a need for affection. A person may not be giving enough affection to satisfy another, and if communication doesn't work, that validates itself as an ineffective relationship.
I slightly disagree, in that i think yourself and the significant other should have an ex aeqo (not sure if i spelled this right) #1 priority. In my opinion there should be no hierarchy at all between you and your significant other.
I do realise though that this theoretical situation is hardly achieved, so balancing out making her number one on some occasions and yourself number one on other occasions works best in practice.
Communication is indeed what has killed all my relations before so that is the real key.
Considering highschool is an awkward growing phase, I totally get when kids do that sort of stuff, lol. I was the same way, and had a lot of friends who were that way, too. It's high school! Who cares! I already had difficulty establishing/maintaining relationships, so loving any sort of fiction or character didn't add or take away from this. But yes, this stuff /does/ get weird after someone has grown into the person they'll most likely end up being for the rest of their lives.