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I need some advice on something.

a_wesley_g
Trying to be something your not? That's a crap way of looking at it. Trying to be something you want to be? What's wrong with that? People should always try to be the best they can be. I could tell myself, "just be yourself". Well, myself has a huge sweet tooth and can be a bit lazy at home. So I should just eat as much sweets as I want an lay around the house? Will that make me happy? Hell no. My best friend pushes me to eat healthy and run for exercise... I'm not a runner... But running and putting in the effort to eat right makes me a healthier person. I'm better for it, even if I'm trying to be something I'm not. .... People aren't born good people. We're born selfish and petty. We learn not to hit our siblings. Not to cry just cause we don't get what we want. Not to lie. Not to steal. We learn virtues and to be good people as we grow. It's a choice. And it's having willpower and self control, not to just give in to our base desires. Saying "just be yourself", in a way can be laziness. An excuse to give up and give in. Trying to be the best person you can be is what gives you value, not just to yourself, but to the people around you. You are the sum of your actions. Instead of trying to find yourself, decide who it is you want to be. ... When I was young some of the cartoons used to have morals to the stories at the end of each episode. Even now there's a lot of morals put into anime that people want to get across to kids. Look at every sports anime ever made. There's typically one kid with zero athletic talent that tries and tries to persevere through sheer effort. Take Naruto for example... Lee with zero talent for ninjitsu achieves his goals with effort. Naruto who is shunned by everyone around him, doesn't give up and say "fine, I'll be the person you treat me like"... no he keeps trying to prove that he's better than that. No protagonist succeeds in any of the stories by giving up. And you can't succeed in life that way either. .... The question is, "who do you want to be?" And is it worth it to you to put in the effort? Believe me, I know that's way easier said than done... Some times putting in the EFFORT is a serious understatement.
ladycorazon
There is not one good answer to this question i think. No matter how old you are, you will at some point most likely run into something as this and you will wonder who you are, what you are and what it is that you want in life. These are those great questions that require alot of soulsearching so to speak. It is easy to say that you should always be yourself when you are unsure on who you actually are. And again, no matter how old you are that feeling can stick to you. In my own experience i have tried to be a responsible daughter, sister, friend. I have tried to study hard and work hard as an intern and live the way i thought my loved ones expected of me. I was myself but i also was that one person they expected me to be ( or so i thought ). I changed my looks because i believed it was more desired by people etc etc. But in the end that only means you loose yourself out there. People do this because they think that they are not good enough as they are themselves. We get influenced by the outside through movies, commercials, set standards and by people surrounding us with theire own opinions on how life should be. But we forget that we are unique individuals. We all bring something in this life that is unique to us. I wont tell you how to overcome these feelings, because frankly no matter how hard id try i am still wondering aswell. I lost myself many times and i know i`ll find myself again at some point, while still asking such questions. To me the best way to deal with it is to keep on asking the questions untill i either find an answer or a new question. Never stop asking questions and never stop looking for the answers. But try to be you in all circumstances, that is what i`d answer to this.
allisonn
If you have to pretend to be someone else, you are not feeling good in your own skin. Try only to change the things you are not proud of. Find a goal, what you really want to be, how you really want to treat people, if you feel good while putting the mask or not , or if it sometimes you are really using it. Those things take time, you must be really young for sure, still trying to find yourself its normal. Find the path that will make you happy, give your best , always.
nashay
May 26, 17 at 6:00am
I was just like that a few years ago. I found myself not having an original thought or action because I was taking traits from my family and friends or media. I can only tell you what worked for me but everyone has their own way of finding themselves after a while. What I did was first asked myself if I was happy or if I was pretending to be happy. I wasn't happy. I wasn't thinking for myself so that I didn't have to feel unhappy. Plus I was pushing my feelings to the side so that I could be there for everyone else ultimately making it impossible to be myself. Second I asked myself why I was unhappy. It turns out that I didn't like any of the people I was hanging out with. I was doing it because I felt like I had to. I was acting like them because I felt like I had to. I then stopped doing things that I felt I had to do and the people that were not my real friends stopped coming around to use me and stuff. I was left with a few real friends who cared about me. I guess what I'm saying is ask yourself some questions. Don't settle for I don't know. Then take actions to get the results you want.
bob_loblaw
Screw all these long winded posts. Just listen to this song... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALdLpva9j7U
houndofdoom
Idk what to do i met someone on this site and i really like them and something bad happen between us and they unfriendly me and they hate me and idk if i should give them time to clam down because its been almost 3 days sense they unfriendly me and idk if i should wait and see what happen or just move on and fine someone else
ecchievinggreatness
There's a song by Seether that reminds me of this tbh. Look up the lyrics to "Fake It". It goes over, basically both sides, of the advice I'm seeing here tbh
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