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WOULD YOU DATE/MARRY A DISABLED PERSON?!?!?!?!

hothentaiwaifu
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drmario
I've thought about this before and it would depend on the amount of care they needed. It would a huge bummer if I went to work to take care of patients and came home only to do the same thing. Certainly if something happened to someone after I already was with her, then I'd like to think I'd stay with her. But otherwise, if she needed a lot of daily help I couldn't do it.
siruboo
I hate this subject. It's so sad on many ways. Were all disabled, we all die, At least we have friends That's what life is about
yaasshat
Siru, That's one of the most coherent and best things I've seen you say. I couldn't agree more.
drmario
@siruzoot and yaasshat I wish I could agree and idealistically, I do. It is a sad subject, but it is also reasonable because humans simply aren't capable of only "loving people for who they are." I feel like confronting this can actually helpful for people who have disabilities or perhaps some sort of physical deformity. There will be people who are put off by certain things. And there may be those who are not. I remember something a doctor, who I have utmost respect for, told my class. He was talking about the duty of a doctor, but I think it translates well here. He was describing a patient he was taking care of who had significant burns to his body including his whole face. He said that he had to leave the room for a moment and go throw up because it was that bad. Of course he came back because the patient was his responsibility and he didn't go throw up because he in anyway found the patient personally distasteful. It was just the response of his body to looking at a face that was unfortunately, but terribly disfigured. Now imagine if this patient was a man looking for a date. As you say, we all die - because we are all human and we don't all have superhuman abilities to look just at "who a person is." I think OP's question is very fair, especially since disability is something she deals with. This is all even without mentioning the possibility of huge financial burdens, mental stress, etc. depending on what the disability may be.
saberwing
If the feeling is there, why not. Tbh this kinda stuff becomes pretty damn insignificant to me if I genuinely care about somebody, whether it may be friendship or something more. Believe me, there are far worse things in the world than somebody not having one arm, being blind or whatever. My bipolar 180 almost split personality like moodiness is a good example of that, spending more than an hour in my presence can become very ugly very quickly lmao.
yaasshat
drmario, I know it's a difficult thing for many, if not most to deal with. Many say "sure",but are they really thinking about it and are they thinking about it fairly? Never date or marry out of pity or some fantasy notion of being their helper or savior. Sure, most people have some kind of "disability", even if it's so mild that you could never tell. I and my fiancee have depression issues, but they're not debilitating. Everyone does deserve a chance, but not everyone can be with just anyone. At the end of it all, I agree with siru. Friendship is probably the most important and most fundamental part of being human. Friendships are much easier to forge since they don't require attraction or necessarily the same amount of personal commitment.That's not to say that one can't care immensely about their friends, it's just a different level of personal commitment and care in most cases.
momentai
Being disabled, I ask myself the same question. The person would have to be very caring, understanding, and compassionate. For me especially it has always been weird since I look perfectly fine, you would never know by looking or talking to me. I suffered a traumatic brain injury four years ago and have had a plethora of health problems ever since. There are days when I need help to get out of bed or days when i'm having such bad eye pain and trouble that I can't see. That person would have to be okay with taking care of and helping me when I need it. I am pretty much house bound and can't go out a whole lot, so they would have to be a person who is happy to just sit around and spend time with me, heck thats all I want. The problem is there are very few people out there who are willing to do these kinds of things.
ichigo55
Yes. If I really loved the person, none of it would matter.
yamadaed
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