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What to do?

pyro_redflame

I need an advice.

I have been really down these days since my gf broke up with me just last week with just a very shallow reason. One night she said she loves me and a day after that she said she's not happy with me anymore. We've been together like almost 11 months and then she just broke up with me like that. I know i have to move on but should I stay as her friend or treat her like a stranger like in the past?

Yeah.. I am Bi btw. please don't judge me. She was my very first Girlfriend. :(

Jul 16, 17 at 8:16pm
vanessa86
Supporter

Depends on how she treats you. If she still shows respect and understands you're having it hard, then remain friends. If she doesnt, then best break with her entirely.

Jul 16, 17 at 9:58pm
pyro_redflame

Well that's true.. She said she wants us to stay us friends. But would it be really awkward? hahahaa..

It was really hard me though.. she seeks others' attention while she has mine and said things like "no one was there for me", "no one understands me", or like "no one really cared for me". It really hurts me a lot when she said it. Like what am I? a ghost? well for now.. I'm having a hard time talking to her. I mean this is my first time to have a girlfriend.. i mean ex-girlfriend. i kinda don't know how to act or what to do with her. ^^;

Jul 16, 17 at 10:42pm
timeenforceranubis

If remaining friends with her is too much for you to handle, don't be afraid to step back from her for a while and do your own thing while you work on yourself and get over her. You're not together anymore, so you really have no obligation to stick around for her sake, and if sticking around is painful for you, that's even more reason to do what's best for your own psyche.

Jul 17, 17 at 12:01am
neet_one
<3
neeto commented on What to do?

That sucks man, but better at least they didn't drag it out for years, would suck a whole lot more then.

Jul 17, 17 at 1:45am
pyro_redflame

@TE Anubis

I guess you are right, then I should leave her till I'm good and that whenever I see her name.. I wouldn't be hurt then. And I have to get over her, I've been really stubborn for defending her from my friends but I think i was just fooling my self here..

@Neto

Its pretty hard right I know.. It's just supposedly I'm meeting her any day soon this year since I promised but I dunno If I still have to see her or not. :(

Jul 17, 17 at 2:36am
rainx
<3
RainX commented on What to do?
RainX

I think there's nothing wrong with staying friends with her if you feel you can set your feelings aside and keep the relationship plutonic. If she'd find a new significant other (or vice versa) and you can't keep your emotions in check (becoming angry, jealous, sad, depressed, etc.) over that potential scenario down the road, then I wouldn't maintain the friendship nor would I maintain the friendship solely for the hopes she'll want to get back with you one day.

Break ups suck, especially being on the receiving end and not the one who wanted it to end. I've been on both sides of that coin. The best thing you can do in the near term is do the things that make you happy and spend time with your other friends. Maybe take a break from contacting her for a few weeks and let the situation settle down some.

Jul 17, 17 at 11:50am
chocopyro

There's not really much you could do about the way someone else feels about you. Unless she really went out of her way to ruin your life, you probably should stay friends with her. BUT if you aren't experienced in managing your feelings, then give it time of course. Let your own feelings simmer down for a bit. Identify which feelings stand in the way of forgiveness, then let them go. Take all the time you need. Then its easier to transition to being friends.

Jul 17, 17 at 12:18pm
momoichi
<3
Lamby commented on What to do?

whatever helps you move on

aslong as she doesnt try and use you or play with your heart i dont think its wrong to stay friends, and that could help you move on

but i wouldnt hesitate to make her a stranger if she does try and mess with your feelings

Jul 17, 17 at 3:15pm
burninghalo
<3

I'm kind of with Anubis. At the very least take some time for yourself away from her. Make sure that you're okay not being in that kind of relationship with her. And if after you still want to be friends then by all means remain friends.

Jul 17, 17 at 7:07pm
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