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I need serious advice ._.

MaiOtaku Forums > Relationship Advice > I need serious advice ._.
thrilhouse

Don't be concerned about the "endowment" problem - if she's into you, she's into you. Any thoughts about yourself beyond are redundant. As for the kids, this adds an entire other element that you have to consider, are you willing to have that much responsibility? If there is any reasonable doubt you should probably think it over until you have a solid decision made about it.

Maybe you should ask if she's willing to do anything more casual, a fling or some casual dating might be a good way to figure out what you actually want and where a relationship would lead. The key is to be open and communicate, let her know your concerns and see if she understands. She might have something to say that will help too.

Although tbh for most people kids would be a deal breaker. Make sure she isn't just grabbing onto the guy that will give her a chance because she needs help with her own life. As negative as that sounds you should always put yourself first.

Jul 16, 17 at 9:23am
yaasshat
<3

The biggest issue is, are you prepared to be a potential father or at the very least, be an important figure in the kids lives. She would or should be child centric in that, you should not be a part of their lives until she as the mother is ready for that. Other than that, just go for it if you feel like it's be a good decision. As for her ex having a big "member"...Who cares? Unless she absolutely must have her cervix pounded in, it's nothing to even remotely care about. Penis size should be the absolute least of your concerns here.

Jul 16, 17 at 11:47am
asukaangel

It seems fake Rick... I would not recommend you to do that. She's probably just looking for someone to call the attention of her ex. It would be real problematic to deal with the kids thing 'cause this guy (due to the kids) will be around all the time. Schedules of mothers are different, kids need her and she's not gonna be available for all the adventure you want. Think with the head you have over your shoulders!!! Doesn't matter if she still hot or not. This screams troublee all over!!! Happened to one of my dear male friends. It's a warning sign

Jul 16, 17 at 1:54pm
yamadaed
<3

that's sound advice ^

One time, a few years ago, I had a friend who had roomates at the house he rented, one of the room mates had a girlfriend who had a lil girl, around 4 years old or so, the guy loved her very much and seemed to care for her, problem was, the woman at all times wanted to draw the attention of her past love interest, somewhere on time it seems she got very unstable with the whole pregnancy stuff and breaking up with him, she would constantly seek attention on other guys and sleep with them while the boyfriend worked to support his "Family", even my friend slept with that girl numerous time on the guys bed.

Morale of the story? women with kids, specially young women, are just a pit for drama and problems, dont concern yourself with responsibilities that weren't created by you.

If she liked you that much or had a thing for you then she probably would have tried a move on you before the other guy that got her pregnant, think with the head that has a brain, not the one that can get the girl pregnant again.

Jul 16, 17 at 2:14pm
momoichi
<3

asukaangels advice isnt sound, its looking at the worst possible outcome

if she is a kind person like you said she wouldnt do that :/

my advice would have been tell her youd want to take it slow first and see how it went from there, but im sad these negative people influenced you like that

everyone deserves a chance, and if she was that kind of person, would you have fallen for her? dont listen to blatant horrible stereotypes like that and judge a person for who they are, not who they might be

Jul 16, 17 at 3:17pm
momoichi
<3

i just hate seeing these stereotypes put on single mothers

look out for yourself first and foremost but i wish her the best of luck, shes going through something extremely difficult atm

Jul 16, 17 at 3:43pm
roszondas3
Loli-BuddleCutt commented on I need serious advice ._.
Loli-BuddleCutt

Lamby is right.

Jul 16, 17 at 3:49pm
mariahaise
<3

It's not a stereotype, he needs to take into account that not everyone in this world is nice and humble. The world we live in is a despicable place, he needs to be aware that there are consequences to his acts and if he decides to take her on and, sadly, she turns out to be just an attention whore, then the guy won't blame anyone but himself, something everyone here is trying to avoid. I'll personally advice him to test the waters first and see if she's worthy. I don't entirely disagree with Lamby on giving her an opportunity but being cautious and cynical in this world are good things for survival, I wouldn't want to be heartbroken over worthless people, and yes, this isn't against her just because she's a single mother, my mom is too, my best childhood friend's is also a single mother and they've both done what they could, some people aren't lucky. So that's why I think you just need to be careful and try control your feelings until all the testing is done. Good luck.

Jul 16, 17 at 5:32pm
gurren921
<3

Well, you have to understand that her world is about her children now. You won't be the #1, 2, or 3 priority in her life. Her kids and herself come before you. There's also going to be limitations on what you can do. It probably won't be "free" or something that's easy come, easy go. There's going to be planning and patience and probably many nights of you having to either spend time with her little ones or have plans cancelled on you because she couldn't find someone to watch them.

If she's a great girl, then go ahead. But it's not going to be free and easy. Your charm will only take you so far with a mother of very young children. Best of luck whichever route you choose.

Jul 16, 17 at 5:44pm
momoichi
<3

i know theres always that chance maria, but i also hate him harping on her looks

just because a girls pretty doesnt mean shes self absorbed

he should enter cautiously, hence why i said to take it slow, feel things out

it *is* a stereotype, and one that pisses me off as my mother was young, pregnant, and alone aswell and she had nothing but hardships in her life because of that. she wasnt *drama*

that really pisses me off

Jul 16, 17 at 5:48pm
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