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Do more options and less compromise make dating better or worse?

combatvoss
Is there such a thing as having standards that are too high? Or is it truly not worth it to settle for anything less than perfect? After all we live in a day and age where another potentially better person is literally a click away.
yaasshat
You'll know what's "perfect" for you when you find it. I don't even know what "perfect" would be, we are ALL flawed in some way. I know who I have sleeping on my shoulder right now, she's perfect for me and only time showed that. You have the right to desire whatever kind of person you want, just don't be a hypocrite.
combatvoss
But what happens when you let that human side show. When those little gestures you used to love become routine, unappreciated or even unnoticed. When you've had the same conversations 100 times and you just get bored. When you start to argue more and more and little grievances start to become pains in the ass. And admist all of this you are constantly reminded that there is a world of other options at your fingertips. I mean if you arent happy anymore and there are other people out there, why stick around. Even "perfect for me" doesnt last forever if the divorce rate is any indication.
elitegam3r117
What you've just described is something all couples go through. You will have rough patches, but if you're not willing to work through them then obviously they deserve better. So maybe you should try the new partner and spare them any more pain. Then you can repeat the process with your new "perfect" mate. Maybe then you'll learn and maybe you wont. Morale is, nothing is perfect. We live in a imperfect world. That's a fact you should understand.
combatvoss
Im making a point by saying that. I've noticed a lot of people here saying "don't settle" and really stressing how important it is to find someone up to your standards. But in a world where millions of new partners are literally a click away and everyone goes through the hardships described earlier, what is to stop anyone from just moving on as soon as things become inconvenient or yheir partner shows flaws? Seems to me that these days a great deal of people cant wait to move on. I am intentionally pointing out the inherent flaw in focusing too much on finding the perfect person. I do not genuinely believe that one exists. All humans have flaws. This is something that I am painfully aware of.
hell_hound7
i have high standards, i cant just "settle for anything" i find it that i become unhappy and cant enjoy being around that person. every conversation becomes 10 times more boring, every moment spent with them feels like wasted time. ik im not perfect thats why i dont expect anyone else to be, but even then if i cant have what i want its better to be alone. i've tried settling and it isnt the same. like yass said you'll know what the perfect person looks like, and to me that perfect person hasnt been introduced into my life yet.
combatvoss
That's fine. Thing is what if they never do? If your expectations of a person are just unrealistic? Notice for example how most really good comedians end up having some kind of mental issues like depression? Humans are a package deal with the good and bad. Maybe what you're looking for simply isn't feasible. And say your perfext person again tells all their stories, spouts all their jokes or just becomes predictable and boring to you? Will it become settling to stay with them when it's no longer as exciting or engaging? And at the same time you meet someone else with that spark that you were missing. Could you remain faithful?
yaasshat
Voss, you think to much. Boredom happens, yes. But, what of the ones who stay for the long haul? What of the ones that love, not because they feel, but because the person and relationship are valuable. When I get bored (it happens), I either do my own thing (friends...etc) or we just find something random to do. I understand worrying about complacency, but I suppose that's the risk you'll take. I really don't expect to get to the point that I feel a sense of bitterness/boredom. To me, if you get to that point, there's probably a lot more wrong than simple "bordome". But, maybe I like a boring life, so, what do I know?
reinhardt76
This account has been suspended.
momoichi
opinions dont make dating worse but less compromising does relationships are a partnership, one cant have more then the other
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