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Body Issues WARNING maybe triggering for some

daadaadaa
Hi everyone, my name is Erica and im new here XD I wanna talk abt someting that may not be comfortable for everyone and maybe even triggering for some so im gonna apologize for that now. u can just skip this thread if you feel uncomfortble, but please nothing mean and judgemental here. also, i apoligize in advance for any wrong grammar and spellings on my post XD I wanna talk abt body issues. i looked into the forums nd i noticed that there are threads abt what u think ur body size is and what your preferrd body size in a partner is, and so on. but nothing dat seriously tackles the question of what and how do u view yourslef as your physcal body. i want to know if u ever felt hatred or unsafe or unsure or uncofortble abt your own body. and wat reason u have for that. and if u are still going thru that or are u in rcovery or are you completely "okay" now. i put that i quotes bcoz my therpaist said that no one fully recoveres and that everyday is a new day and u work for recovery continuously and patiently. okay back 2 my story: i just got releasd from rehab for anorexia aftr 3 months. i didnt even know that i had it when i was forst diagnosed. which appraently is the case for most sufferers. i just now dat i skipped meals mainly bcoz i was owrking nd i was too busy and dat skipped meals became skipped days of food nd that eventually i skipped eatingand getting out of the house completly. the longest i didnt have anything to eat excpt coffee was 4 days. my girlfriend and mom got alarmed and "forced" me into rehab stay-in facility. i never understood this and i felt betrayed then. i didnt know why i was being hospitalized into a mental instituoin because i relly didnt understand what i have wrong in me. my gf was the one hu recognized the signs. she was bulimic and stayed in thesame faciltiy for one month. and given my background, probably she thot that i wasnt skippig meals because of stress or busyness, its because i have anorexia. and it was confirmed on my first day in the facility. I was mad the whole first few days I was der nd thot abt how to get out fast. I plannd some ‘cheating da scales’ thing, which is wat sick kids lyk me do to look and seem heavier during weigh days. I was caught and this and dat but eventually I tried to learn nd get wat I can from da treatment. Im released now nd I feel better. I wont say im well but now I knw how to manage myslf and I hav a great support grp. Physically is dfferent from the inside tho. Im still starting to figure out how to love myself nd forgiv myself for trying to devalue my life. I knw that eventually ill get der nd that it just it takes time patience and being surrounded by the ryt kind of ppl. Thx for reading nd I hope to hear your stories too XD XD
yamadaed
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yunoxyukki
Well im dont suffer from anorexia but i am rather thin. I weight around 116 and im 6 ft the average weight for someone of my height is probs like 150-160. Being skinny isnt something i enjoy tbh. And i was born with a birth defect that is visible because i am skinny if i gained weight you wouldnt even know i had it. Its kinda weird though and it does make me feel uncomfortable at times being that im so skinny and almost everyone is like omg you need to eat more. But i am a picky eater, and i have a high metabolism so despite me eating alot (you know when i actually do eat) i wont gain anything. infact i lost 3 lbs lol
__removed_mango_mochi
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arc
That's a great story, Erica. I've had a lot of body issues too. I've struggled for so long with my height. I cursed God for making me so short (I'm 5'4") and in middle school when I realized I wasn't growing any further it caused me to slowly sink into depression. I closed myself off from everybody and had a hard time even finding a girlfriend. Years and years later, in my mid-twenties, I've finally been able to tackle it head on and appreciate the body I was given. I came to terms with it and gained confidence. I even created a harem for myself on this very website ^_^
cylus
I never had a real problem with my body. I just look at the building scale and if that's okay I'm satisfied, if not I will either start reducing calorie intake or increase it.
maydragon
It all started when I was 10 years old. Most of us know how it is like to be with grandmother who feeds you more than enough (at least Russians). But the worst part was that I never complained an ate a lot, and I mean A LOT to the point I was vomiting almost daily. I was gaining weight a lot since I was a kid and at the age of 10 I was pretty much fat and continued to gain weight. I hated myself for not beign able to say no to my grandmother's food and trash food, I hated for blaming her for what I looked, I hated my body and even now I still do somehow. Even though I did stretches, did some sports and exercise I was still fat and was bullied in new schools (I changed schools few times but there were other reasons for that) the one time I almost lost my mind had not one girl called me to play with her (I still see her as an angel). After that I didn't care what people say about my appearance and got friends who actually liked my chubby features (one called me Maine Coon haha). However, I still needed to lose weight for health reasons and only about half a year ago I started to do workout more seriously and plan to join sport clubs at uni. Even though I did workout and feel fantastic right now, even my family and friends noticed I look better, but for some reason numbers on my weight scales didn't decrease and I've come to conclusion that that's how it will be. It's just my body. But that's not all, when I was 10 I got severe acne, pretty early, don't you think? We tried many stuff to remove those things but only three years ago, when my mother thought to use more stronger stuff, we found something that actually worked. However, in the UK you can't get strong medicine without doctor's paper and my friend asked to go see doctor (so at the moment my face looks horrendous and that's why I don't feel like taking picgures of myself). I'm not afraid of doctors but I don't trust them completely, especially medicine. I try not to use too much medicine as possible but I'll pay a visit to doctor next academic year. I really don't like my face, in fact, I might hate it more than my body. Even yesterday my friend said my body is fine because it has right proportions and it fits me, I just need to use make-up. I'm not comfortable with it because I feel like deceiving people. And I still doubt it can cover all the bad parts of my face, I even sometimes think my face doesn't fit me at all. I don't hate myself too much anymore though: I sometimes get compliments from people and I feel healthy despite I still eat a lot (not like before, some snacks and I still can't give up on sweets) and I can move freely. However, I still feel uncomfortable when I go shopping and need to look for big sizes and the style I like doesn't fit my body form or is way too exprnsive. It's just sad. And I'm also short which irritates me. I'd like to thank everyone hete for sharing their stories as well. There are people who can't actually do anything to their body even if they try. I think it's sad but if you just accept yourself and keep your body healthy and nice, you'll feel better. And that's the important thing. Cheers.
gamzgamz
I was on the opposite side. I used to be very thin because of my high metabolism. It took me several years to finally gain and maintain a healthy weight. I used to black out and get sick a lot as a kid if I didn't eat multiple meals a day. I'm just glad that now I'm healthy and fit.
majinveta
The word "triggered" seriously triggers me. Obviously you guys are talking about some complex issues here. We're all products of an imperfect process called evolution, and as a result most of us look funny in some way or another. If you're anorexic, overweight, or too thin, it's a result of your brain, hormones, genetics, ect. As far as I'm concerned, there's no real reason to be ashamed about something such as how your brain works given that you had no control over how it formed. If you feel there is something seriously wrong with your body, you should seek professional medical help. If it's more of a cosmetic issue, working out, eating better, and getting plenty of sleep are seemingly the way to go. And in extreme cases, what's wrong with getting cosmetic surgery if it makes you feel better and doesn't harm anyone else? Ps, I'm no medical expert, nor am I very scientifically literate.
alanzd
I have medium sized hands but really long fingers My legs are long in proportion to the rest of my body so even though I'm basically 5' 11", my legs look a bit overly long I have trouble developing back muscles I have large, extremely unattractive feet I have large feminine nails I used to be really overweight (like 220lbs) back in my first 2 years of high school and it still haunts me a bit I have close to no body hair, which is deemed very non masculine My eyebrows are naturally think
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